This post is sponsored by The T Bar.
What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 54
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Michigan
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Executive
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Adventurous. Experienced.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 350+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 4
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1993
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? friends with benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? B. was a dark skinned ebony lady, 38 years old at the time, large natural C-cup breasts, athletic build as she was an amateur body builder who participated in advanced level competitions, mid-back length wavy hair, full lips (she called them soup coolers), smooth skin, and supremely sex-hungry eyes.
B. was one of my nurses while I was in hospital for about a week due to a persistent heart arrhythmia. She and I both were quite flirtatious, and we took several opportunities to compliment each others physical features. She came in a number of times when she was caught up with her duties as a cardiac ward nurse, just to chat and flirt.
B. was very beautiful and had a sweet personality. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I thought of banging her the first time I saw her. She had an amazing body to go along with those “come fuck me” eyes.
B. was the first to really make a move to hookup one evening when she came in and offered to pull the curtains. I was so dense that I didn’t get what she was offering until after she had to get out of the room, but she was going to give me a blowjob there in my room with me hooked up to the heart monitor and everything. Bummer I didn’t have my wits about me or I would have quickly accepted. She was openly bisexual and really enjoyed 69ing with another woman out while they were both being fucked.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The last night I was to be in the hospital, before B. got off work, she came into my room and handed me her phone number. I called her around 10:30 that evening, and we talked for more than an 90 minutes about many different subjects, one of which of course was sex: what each of us liked; what kind of wild things we had done/experienced; what we would like to experience and why; and that we should get together soon.
We planned a date for the following week on her night off. She was pretty much the aggressor, which I was surprised that I liked because I was usually the one to do all the instigating.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The first time B. and I hooked up was about a week after I got out of the hospital. I picked her up at her place and we went to dinner, and then to a drive-in movie. We were enjoying the movie while talking about all sorts of things when she just out of the blue asked me, “Would you like me to give you some head?” Of course I wanted that but for some stupid reason I was being shy about having a family in the car next to us, even though her car had dark tinted windows. Eventually she got her way and sucked me off there in the car while at the movie, and swallowed every last drop without spilling even a trickle. She said that she was on the rag right then but that she was almost done and was only spotting. We finished watching the movies and went back to her place.
When we got back to her place I told her that I was going to have to spend the night with her because I needed to return the favor. She reminded me that she was not quite done bleeding, so I told her that I would still stay the night and that we would fuck but that I don’t eat cherry pies. She completely understood and said that she wouldn’t eat pussy then either. We talked a little while before going into her bedroom and having sex for more than 4 hours. She was surprised that I could stay up that long and have so many ejaculations (my record is 7 in one night but that night was a total of 4 including the blowjob at the drive-in.)
We enjoyed each others bodies in all sorts of positions; everything from missionary to cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, hand-stand – you name it we pretty much hit it. B. had somewhere in the neighborhood of 10 hard orgasms that night, along with several smaller ones. She wasn’t a real loud cummer but she was rather vocal, articulating exactly what she was feeling and what she wanted me to do next. She wanted me to cum inside her pussy twice, and in her mouth again to finish the night up.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After we both had our fill of sexual pleasures for the night we fell asleep in her bed, which was soaked from sweat and sex fluids. We slept until about 10:30 the next morning, when her older daughter called to tell her that she was going to bring her 4 year old daughter home after having her for the night. We had a good breakfast as she introduced me to her daughters (19 and 4), and her 17 year old son.
I really enjoyed my time with B., and we both agreed that we were going to be getting together and exploring our desires many times in the near future. B. and I became very close and trusted friends and enjoyed an open relationship for nearly two years. After dating for a little more than a year we even talked briefly about marriage but decided to just keep it as what we call today, a friends with benefits relationship.
I have thought about B. many times over the past 20 years, wondering if she is still built like a goddess, if she still enjoys swinging and all the things that come with that lifestyle. Sometimes I miss her but know that we enjoyed a great couple of years together and had many unique experiences that probably neither one of us would have had if we had not been together.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Sterilization, Discussed STI testing history, Exchanged recent STI test results
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked with several of the people I worked with, both men and women, and most of them were excited and often asked me about my dates with B. Later in our relationship we often took explicit pictures, with the mutual understanding and foreknowledge that each of us planned on showing them to some of our friends. A number of the people I worked with enjoyed the pictures, and some of them even offered to pay for copies but B. and I refused to go that far with them.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? WOW! Where do I begin? B. was the first woman I had been with who was a body builder, which I was also for several years, so we had some things in common in that area as we were both quite fit (I was 6’1″, 225 lbs., she was 5’4″, 145 lbs.). This particular hookup was great for many reasons but if I were to choose the BEST thing about it, I think it would have to be that we had non-stop sex for more than four hours, and enjoyed positions that neither one of us had experienced before, even though we had both had more than 100 partners over then years.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Only that she was still finishing up with her period and I have never knowingly gone down on a woman while she was still bleeding/spotting. And I LOVE to eat pussy!
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I can still smell her sweet, musky scent, even after more than 20 years.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex has been a big part of my life since I was about 14 years old. I have enjoyed CS many thousands of times with several hundred partners, some as one night stands, some FWB, and even within committed relationships. CS can be a negative when it is either coerced or to try to improve ones self image/self respect. If one party is coerced, then that can be considered a form of rape both legally and morally. In order to safely enjoy casual sex one should not expect it to be a cure or a tool to improve ones self image or social standing, but instead it should be viewed as recreation and relaxation, as it can definitely fulfill both of those needs, but ONLY when all parties are willingly consenting.
I think that CS is practiced by more people than would admit it even in a completely anonymous survey. That being said, there are not as many who enjoy it regularly as many of us would like to imagine.
I would like to see the social stigma erased for both men and women who choose to enjoy casual sex, whether on a rather regular basis or simply as an occasional diversion.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I am enjoying the site very much.
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