I Saw Stars!



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 50
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Somewhere West of the Mississippi
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Marketing
What’s your current relationship status? Married with some unsanctioned extracurricular activities
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Polyamorous
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? I don’t like math.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

I saw stars!

How long ago did this hookup happen? 16 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Married with some unsanctioned extracurricular activities

How would you best classify this hookup? Intended to be a casual thing, evolved into something like FWB

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met C through Ashley Madison. There was something appealing about the things he wrote to me and that he didn’t ply me with dick pics. He is very tall and lean with an amazing head of wavy dark hair with just a little gray. We had a nice week or two of e-mail and photo sharing before I was scheduled to visit a city near his home. I was in what turned out to be a kind of dumpy hotel near a highway and a little embarrassed about that. He promised to bring wine and I said I would find some food to share. Unfortunately, all that was immediately available came from the Starbucks a few blocks away.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We agreed that he would just come to my room and knock on the door. I didn’t have a lot of experience meeting single men this way and so while we had established a good rapport, I was still pretty nervous. I asked him to just come in without saying a word and kiss me. He did just that and it was one of the most exciting things. No awkward small talk or weirdness. He just walked in, smiled at me and we started kissing.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Still standing just inside the door, kissing and beginning to grope and grind a little, I could feel his cock pressing into me. From the photos (he did eventually share some), I knew he was uncut and larger than average. I was delighted to release him from his jeans and discover what has become one of my most favorite cocks. My dress came off and soon after the lingerie I had carefully selected. He’s not really into those things and likes to be naked. I like that too.

There was some oral play for each of us which was wonderful but before long we were fucking and it was amazing. I’m the kind of girl who gets wound up pretty easily and then, with the right kind of attention, can cum repeatedly. He figured that out pretty early on and was very generous in giving me many, many, many (did I say many, I mean a LOT) of orgasms. We tried all of the usual positions, but for his first orgasm, we were in missionary. I especially love the way he slides his arms underneath me…gathers me very close and just goes for it. I love the way his sweet, slow, sensual strokes turn into something really powerful and intense.

We fucked for hours, pausing occasionally to enjoy the lovely wine he brought and to laugh about (but still devour) all of the crappy Starbucks stuff I scavenged. He’s very intelligent and funny and I remember that I found myself laughing a lot more than I could remember.

I think he came again before we decided to get some sleep. He had to leave at 5 a.m. that morning. I don’t remember now if there was ever really a question of him staying over…but we did turn off the lights eventually and snuggle up a bit. Somewhere in the middle of the night, we started stroking and rubbing and he was wonderfully hard and ready again. We had, in the weeks prior to our date, talked about anal sex but hadn’t come around to it earlier. Somehow, in the quiet and dark, it was exactly the thing we both wanted. One challenge…neither of us had any lube. He asked if I had any lotion with me and luckily I did, some fancy L’Occitane peony/rose which did the trick. (I still have the bottle with a tiny bit remaining that I’m unwilling to toss.)

Until that moment, we had used condoms for vaginal sex but ended up going bareback. He had me on my knees and was so slow and gentle in easing his lovely cock into my ass. It was amazing. Slow, sensual, then intense and unyielding. I came a few times, the last, as I recall upright, with him still behind me, fingers on my clit (mine, his, ours?), back arched, nipples hard as rocks and stars…I really saw stars.

Now, knowing him, I don’t think he actually got any more sleep afterward. I may have dozed back off for a short time before he had to leave. I remember feeling giddy and exhausted and delighted. Especially, when he asked me if, should I return, would I see him again and stay at his house. I did. We did. We still do.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Lots happened; most of it amazing and delightful, some things have been confusing and painful. He is a dear, wildly sexy man and I’m grateful that we are friends and hopeful that my work will still bring me to see him again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Condoms, Sterilization

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I met an amazing, lovely, sexy man who opened himself up to me in lots of ways and allowed me to be open and vulnerable with him, all the while (or most of it) having mind-blowing sex and lots of laughs and sweetness together.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, he’s affirming and supportive and appreciative of my body which has made it a little easier to feel confident.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? My ideas about sexuality, monogamy and relationships have evolved quite a bit. I’m still finding my way.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very interesting. Science, sociology and sex…an enchanting, curious and weird combination.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!