In clubs and in Private



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 47
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

In clubs and in Private

How long ago did this hookup happen? Recently

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She is a hot Latin American, living in Europe. Well shaped. We knew each other pretty well from talking about life and love and our respective relationships, and other topics. I would say we are pretty close friends. I met her at work. I was always fond of her and found her sexy, besides loving her intelligence, music taste and other things.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup was planned. We had both talked about special sexual interests and went for it. I feel like we pretty much both instigated it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We talked, got high, and first had sex at home, vaginal and oral. Then we went out and had sex with each other in a club. It felt great. We were both committed to fucking for a long time and not hide away. She was/is a great lover. We talked about all kinds of things, during sex there was some dirty talk as well. It ended by going back home and having more sex there until we went to sleep together.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We are still in contact and have hooked up several times since the first time. I felt good about it. I hope to continue like this for a while, generously sharing our phantasies and trying them out, while remaining close friends that don’t want to interfere in the respective relationships. I still really like her.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? To two close friends, male and female. They reacted positively.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The generosity.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The secrecy.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I am more open and thinking about how to include casual sex in a life that is supposedly monogamous.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I am happy it is continuing, although I see the danger of one of us falling love. But so far we have tried to be honest with each other about these questions. I hope this will continue.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would like to integrate casual sex into my life and think the focus on monogamous romantic relationships is way too strong in our culture, at least for me. And I realize this pretty late.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it is a great project and platform to rethink casual sex and share its stories.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!