What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Bentonville, AR
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Associate
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How would you best classify this hookup? Not friends-with-benefits but something along those lines
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He looked the same as always. Buzzed dark brown hair, hazel eyes, glasses, medium Caucasian skin tone, moderately speckled with moles and freckles, thin body type, 5’10”.
I was still relatively new to this person but I feel like I knew him fairly well despite that. I’d known him for about four months at this point. We had already had sex 5-6 times before this encounter.
I met him online via dating app but not through a hookup app like tinder.
Before the “hookup”, I felt excited about the possibility of being intimate with him again. I liked this person very much. We have very similar personalities and I was always satisfied with the sex even if I didn’t achieve orgasm.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup began at his house, in his bedroom, same as usual. First, we had dinner at a local Thai restaurant then we went back to his place. There was not and has never been any discussed plans for sex but I pretty much always hoped for some when hanging out with him. We’d usually hang out in his room, on his bed and either watch TV/film or play video games. Some of the times we hung out, we wouldn’t have sex.
This time we finished watching the movie we started after we had dinner and were lying next to each other in bed, having some brief, random conversation. We fell into silence and after a while he instigated sexual contact by caressing the underside of my forearm. Then he rolled over on top of me and we started kissing.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? During the hookup we had vaginal sex and some kinky stuff. We started with making out and groping. I jerked him off through his pants while we were kissing. He grabbed the hand I was using to stimulate him and forced it into his underwear to receive more direct stimulation from me. While I jerked him off this way, he put his hand into my pants to vaginally finger me and rub my clitoris. We engaged in this mutual stimulation while continuing to make out for about 5-10 minutes.
I then removed my hand from his pants and became a little more aggressive with my kissing and grinding to let him know I was ready for more. He stopped fingering me and started to undress me. My pants and panties went first, then my top. My bra was pink and completely see-through. He left it on. My mid-calve socks were also left on.
He then took off his own pants and underwear and stood up to go get a condom from his closet. He climbed back into bed, kneeled between my legs and rolled the condom on himself. I watched and waited with my legs apart.
We resumed kissing and I tried to get his sweater off him but he wasn’t being very helpful so I gave up on it. After a minute or so I started thrusting my hips into his because I was feeling impatient. So then he situated himself and pushed into me.
During the sex, he pulled down one side of my bra and leaned over to use his mouth on my nipple. We did various, missionary-like positions for around 10-15 minutes. At one point he asked me what I wanted and I asked him to go deeper. He complied for a couple minutes then he asked if it was okay for him to come because he’d been pretty close the whole time. I smiled and assured him that it was okay and that he could come. He rolled me onto my side and started thrusting into me that way. I was moaning pretty noisily so he covered my mouth (his roommate was home), thrusted 6-7 more times then came inside me with the condom on.
I felt pretty happy during the hookup but a little bothered towards the end when he covered my mouth. I asked about it afterwards but was dissatisfied with his response. This person was a very good, thoughtful lover but we were both a little bad at communicating our wants/needs to each other.
We laid in bed for an hour or so afterwards and talked about normal stuff. He was tired and had a little nap. After he woke up we got dressed and he took me home.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup, I went to sleep. It was pretty late at night. The next day I was a little confused about a couple things that happened the night before but I was still overall happy to have spent time with this person again. My expectations were to continue having the same type of relationship with him and then to maybe have something more later on in life.
Now, I’m pretty disappointed with how the relationship turned out and I’m hurt and confused by the indifference I feel from him currently.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Fertility awareness (days counting, temperature)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? One friend at work and my sister. My friend was happy for me and my sister was indifferent.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The aggressiveness and urgency between us. It made things more exciting for me.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It didn’t lead to more hookups.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I still like casual sex but I’m not sure I can handle the possible emotional fallout from it anymore.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think It’s easy for some to have casual sex without getting emotionally involved and that can be problematic for people like me who are very tied to their emotions, and for those who are ultimately looking for something more.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s interesting.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!