Long Term Best Friends With Benefits

by Evan

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Scientist
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 1
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Long Term Best Friends With Benefits

How long ago did this hookup happen? On Going to Present

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is to this day the most gorgeous man I have ever met. Smart and kind with the most amazing smile that lights up the room. We work together and every time he would come into my office my heart would race.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had hung out several times as friends with absolutely no sexual contact. I honestly thought that’s all our relationship would ever be and I was fine with that. However, one night we were hanging out at his place and before we knew it it was late. He suggested that I spend the night first by offering me the couch. As I was getting ready to sleep though he very sweetly told me I was more than welcome to join him in the bed if I felt comfortable doing so. After I climbed into bed with him we talked awkwardly for about 30 minutes before he rolled over and kissed me for the first time. I was a virign at the time though he wasn’t. The kiss was just the prefect balance of tenderness and sexual tension.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After that first kiss we just stayed in bed for hours kissing, touching, exploring. We didn’t have vaginal intercourse yet but we made each other orgasm over and over with our hands and mouths. I gave my first blowjob that night and it rocked his world. The next day he had to work but he invited me back that evening so we could discuss having actual vaginal sex. He wanted to give me time to consider and he needed to buy condoms. That night we had a long discussion about our needs and expects. We had both just gotten out of terrible long term relationships neither of us had any interest in romantic dating, marriage, or children. We had vaginal intercourse that night, me for the first time. He was and still is a wonderful lover. He started by kissing me and stroking me with his fingers before moving down my body to pleasure me with his mouth. He used his fingers and his mouth to bring me to orgasm before entering me with his cock. He moved inside me gentle at first but then neither of us contain ourselves. He even went so far as to spank and bite me as well as use his fingers in my ass, which I love.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? For both of us sex is an extension of our friendship in order to satisfy a physical need. Though we’ve been sexual partners for 3 years now, he’s my best friend first. He’s not my boyfriend and I’m not his girlfriend, and neither of us ever will be. We’ve never met each other’s families nor told our families about anything other than our friendship. We will never get married or even live together. We maintain an exclusive sexual relationship out of respect to each other and because we are both satisfied by the current arrangement not out of any romantic notions. It may be unorthodox but it is the perfect situation for both us.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The closeness and intimacy it added to our friendship

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. Sex is put in a pedestal by most of society. Whether its religion placing all these hurdles before sex making it seem like a reward for piety and service to their god or the media making it seem like the end all be all of every relationship forcing people to believe if their sex life is not like the moves then they are doing something wrong. Sex is a personal thing that comes in all ways, shapes, and forms none of which should be dictated by others as long as all parties are consenting.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think as long as sex is consensual then how and why people choose to have it is no one’s business but theirs and their psrtner(s). The people in government and religion trying to shoehorn people into their own beliefs need to stay out of people’s bedrooms and worry about themselves and their own shortcomings.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it is great that someone is trying to explore sexual behavior in such an open and unbiased way.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!