Male Friends



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 62
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Leicester, England
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Pharmacist
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 14
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Male friends

How long ago did this hookup happen? 22

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? two straight (ish) men watching straight porn and masturbating together

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Male, professional. He was single but in Long term relationship with a woman. Same age as me. Met via email ( v early days of internet.) discussed that we both liked watching porn and wanking together

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Met in neutral place (pub) near his house. Then went back to his place

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Watched some straight porn, including amateur videos he’d made of himself and previous partners. Both masturbated and both had a couple of orgasms. On that occasion, we didn’t touch each other. But we were both naked and watching each other.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I drove home. Felt remarkably happy and relaxed. This was the first time I’d done this with anyone. we arranged to meet again.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A year or so later I told my wife. She was surprised, but I’d prepared the ground and she was accepting. Later I told other sexual partners. Mostly they found it quite interesting. Never got a seriously bad reaction.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Enjoyable, new experience

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? nothing

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? yes, I’ve been much more relaxed about casual sex.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I kept in touch with this guy for about 10 years. We repeated the experience maybe every 3-6 months over that time. In later episodes, we occasionally masturbated each other but it never became an important feature of our sex lives. On half a dozen occasions a third person joined us, sometimes male sometimes female. But I moved jobs and we eventually lost touch.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I like it a lot. Prefer casual sex with women and over the years have had quite a few affairs.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very interesting. Read about it in the New Yorker

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!