Normal People Scare Us

by Elaine

Gender: Female
Age: 19
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Ohio
Highest education received: High school diploma
Relationship status: Single
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Open
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Normal People Scare Us

How long ago did this hookup happen? 4 days ago

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Friends with benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He had an athletic body, several inches taller than me, dark hair, light skin and freckles. He had a dorky personality but he was so smooth and had a really good sense of humor. I met him one year ago, when I started my first job at a fast food restaurant. I knew I liked him right away and after a while I felt obsessed and he still didn’t really notice me. Over the past year we became friends and he started messaging me occasionally and eventually daily. We really had a connection and I thought he was a beautiful soul, I craved to ease his stress but there was one problem, he had a girlfriend and they were pretty serious. It sucked so bad because I thought they were on the verge of breaking up since he always complained about her at work but they had been together for 2 years and I started to realize that he pictures himself starting a family with her. So, I re-evaluated my intentions. No, he will never date me but maybe we can still have some fun together.. I started hoping that we could just get drunk and fuck sometimes. Pretty soon our texts turned to sexts and I was desperate for more.We had such a good chemistry and I knew the sex would be great. I loved our little misbehavior but he was not a cheater and I was so tempting to him. The first time he came over and we hooked up, I felt bad seeing him so guilty after but I don’t regret it. I gave him many chances to turn me down I even told him not to text me anymore because I knew a part of him did not like what he was doing but he kept coming back to me so I took advantage I guess.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Well it started when I found out my dad was going out of town for two weeks so I told him he should get my favorite wine and come see me and surprisingly he agreed. So I spent all week cleaning the house, picking out something sexy to wear, avoiding eating, doing allot of cardio and imagining how I would keep it from being awkward or boring when he got there. The night he did come, we sat in my living room in separate recliners and finished off a bottle of whiskey I had, sipped wine and talked. We smiled and laughed for 3 hours before he told me he left something in his car and when he came back in with it, it was massage oil. we had been talking about him giving me a massage for a while and it was really about to happen.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? So I took off my shirt and asked if he wanted my pants off to. Before he could really say anything I just  took them off. Then we went into my bedroom and turned on the black lights. I took off my bra and he began massaging my back. His hands all over me like that felt like euphoria I was in heaven. Eventually he tugged on my side and I flipped over real fast and from there it went on. Unfortunately, he had trouble keeping it up because of the guilt. Like I said he was not your typical cheater. But I was okay with it I really just craved the closeness and more than anything wanted to make him feel comfortable and relaxed so I gave him a massage, much longer then he gave me one. It gave me pleasure to please him. Then it kinda sucked because he said he had to go but I didn’t want him to and I tried not to act like I cared but he seemed kinda hesitant so I asked him to stay and he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his body and he kissed me, I loved it. Then he sat down on  the bed still holding me and played back. I sat on top of him looking at him thinking of how I could possibly convince him to stay then I remembered something. I sat on his face and put my panties to the side he had a look on his face like he had been defeated but I felt guilty, if he wanted to leave I did not want to keep him however I was getting mixed signals so wound up playing games of me begging him to stay and him hesitantly making excuses. Hands interlocked, sitting face to face I curled up into his lap I felt so safe in his arms and not a thing was on my mind except how much I was loving that feeling. Eventually he finally left at midnight which seemed so early and I could barely let go after he kissed me and walked out the door.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? Neither of us actually ended up having an orgasm

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? He wore a condom and we talked about our sexual history together and how both of us are afraid of getting STDs

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I haven’t had sex in over a year and I finally met a guy who I could see myself feeling that comfortable with so I went for it. Plus I want to explore my sexuality this guy was just the beginning of a journey.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much?: Yes about 3 shots of whiskey he had maybe 4 or 5 and we had to big bottles of wine but did not drink it all.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the hookup he continued to text me and let me know he was sorry about not being able to perform. He said it was because he could not stop feeling guilty but he was getting a new perspective and next time he would do me right. I felt bad for him because I can imagine that would be embarrassing and I wanted him to know I still found him attractive and that he didn’t disappoint me although in a way it was kind of disappointing. We did have sex one more time after that and was the hottest sex i’ve ever had but he ended things with me two days later so I don’t expect to hear from him again or talk to him but I kinda hope he misses me one day in the future and texts me. I still think this guy is amazing that his girlfriend is stupid for ignoring his sexual needs. I hope he makes decisions that will make him happy and that he one day gets to be a father and live happily ever after with his loving family because I know that is all he really wants out of life. I would do anything for him.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I haven’t told a soul.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes for both of us

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I would never regret it, it made me feel alive and the memory will always make me happy.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The best thing was how comfortable we made each other feel and how we were both so attracted to each other. The worst part was that he felt guilty. The hookup did change the way I think about myself, now I feel more confident in my sexual side. I feel like it helped me to express and understand my sexuality better and I know I could not have sex with a total stranger but I can have sex with a guy that will never love me. Also I learned how to have sex without getting too attached.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? The second time we hooked up it was the night before he had to be at work at 6am. I told him I would leave the door unlocked and he could stop by on his way for a quickie then I went to sleep and at about 4am he came into my room while I slept, stripped down to his boxers and woke me up with a slap on the ass. I flipped over and he was on top of me smiling then he took off my night gown. I said you came! and then I cuddled up to him because I was still kinda sleepy. I  sat on top of him and it was so much harder then last time which really got me excited so we messed around and got kinky. I love it when he smacks my ass so I rode him reverse cowgirl while he smacked it freely. Then he got demanding on me and flipped me so I was laying face down on the bed and grabbed my hair tightly as he scratched down my back and kissed my neck then whispered in my ear demanding that I get wet for him. I was like YES ANYTHING YOU SAY. It so fucking hot. that went on for a bit and he kept saying I wasn’t wet enough and smacking my ass. Finally he rewarded me with oral and eventually I rewarded him with oral too. I sucked him until he had to fuck me so that’s what we did. He put both my legs up on his shoulders and his hands squeezed both of my boobs as he fucked me so hard I scratched his back, squeezed his biceps and moaned until he came. Then I kissed his face all over because I was so thankful for that much needed fucking.

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