What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 19
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Portland, Oregon
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 7
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Ran off with a stranger
How long ago did this hookup happen? a month ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s absolutely beautiful. I’d met him that day and the moment I saw him I was kind of in awe. We was dressed in a blue and white plaid button up with a v-neck grey sweater on top and had dark brown wavy hair and stubble. I’ve always been really into guys fashion and was immediately attracted to the way he dressed himself (he was even wearing a pair of boots I have). We met at the portland Saturday market after talking on tinder and hitting it off pretty well. I don’t really use that app and definitely never intended on meeting anyone from it but for some reason ended up meeting with him, even though I’d woken up drunk and admittedly, was a little drunk at the beginning of the date. He had just moved to Mt. Hood a few days ago so he hadn’t seen any of Portland so we just explored around for what turned into the whole day. I though he was sweet and well spoken and gentlemanly. He had a certain poise to him that I appreciated: even the way he rolled up his cuffs had intention in it. For whatever reason I was drawn to him and we just spent the whole day together doing random stuff like exploring my school campus and going on a tour of the Church of Scientology.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was really nervous about it but decided to go with him to his place up on Mt. Hood. I’m a very cautious person and the fact I made this decision took me by surprise. I wanted to keep spending time with him and we had decided we wanted to smoke some weed and he had some at his place, so I guess it just made sense. We drove to his place and ended up watching TV and playing with his housemates kittens. Eventually he walked over to his dresser and took some Ecstasy. I hadn’t done anything other than drinking and smoking weed since I had taken Ritalin to study and had a horrible trip. It had really scared me off drugs, making me think that I’d have a bad reaction like this to any hard drug since it was the only one I had taken. I saw how casually he popped the pill in his mouth and decided it wasn’t a big deal and that I’d do it too. I took half a pill. At first we were just sitting on the couch, a few feet apart, as I wished my friends were there so I could cuddle them. We ended up watching Netflix or something on his bed. I wanted him to kiss me or touch me so much. I needed physical affection in that moment. Every bone in my body wanted to cuddle and love someone. After willing it into being for what felt like ages, we kissed. It wasn’t really initiated by anyone, it just happened.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After making out for a bit, our clothes started coming off bit by bit and eventually he said that snuggling naked on E was really nice, so he took off my jeans (with great difficulty) and all his clothes and we snuggled. We began to lightly brush my back with his fingers and with each touch I felt a rush of happiness. I was making tiny little moaning noises as he did this. It was one of the best feelings I had ever experienced. We kissed sweetly and passionately and without any tongue, which I found nice since I’m not a fan. He was strong and safe but rough at the same time, covering my neck in hickies. He slipped his hands in between my legs and began to play with my pussy. Being touched at all was a rush so it took a lot of control and focus to enjoy the sexual pleasure without it being too much. After a bit he told me we couldn’t have sex because he didn’t have condom and hadn’t been tested. He said that it wasn’t worth the risk. Though all I wanted was to love this beautiful person,o We ended up snuggling and talking all night. At one point we stood up and just admired each others body’s and talked, with no shame, about what we loved about our own bodies. It was celebratory. We decided that we would make fantastic friends, and ended up talking about everything until early in the morning. We decided that friends-with-benefits would be a good fit for us. The next day I dressed in all his clothes, went home briefly and drove back, and spent the rest of the day doing my homework with his head on my lap with extreme E afterglow.
After we continued to hang out and hook up. The first time he gave me head I came multiple times. He knew what he was doing: he teased me a bit, used mouth and fingers the right amount. Afterwards I was practically immobile.
After about a month he got his STD results back: clean and I already knew I was. When we finally had sex it was in the morning. He was fingering me in the spooning position and started rubbing my pussy with his dick. Eventually he slipped it in. When he put it in the feeling caught me a bit by surprise. It had been two years since I’d had sex with anyone but my recent ex, who had an inconveniently huge dick, and I’d forgotten what it was like to have sex with anyone else. It was soft and nice but I couldn’t feel the shape as well as I was used to. I was also used to sex being painful which it wasn’t. It was wet and sweet. After a minute or two of fucking I started to get ahold of his rhythm a bit and was enjoying myself more and more. He kept playing with my pussy and after a few minutes he came. Afterwards we snuggled and quickly fell back asleep.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt very fulfilled. This very nice stranger from Tinder had showed me the beauty of drugs and had given me a safe environment to learn to enjoy sex in. I really appreciated him as a person and very quickly as a friend and lover. I feel the same about him now and we are still FWB
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device), Discussed STI testing history, Exchanged recent STI test results
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish, MDMA, ecstasy, molly
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish, Cocaine, MDMA, ecstasy, molly
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my friends at school about it. They were shocked that I went to a stranger’s cabin in the woods and took drugs and got naked with him. Some of my friends were proud of me for having that experience. They felt that it was good for me because I was out of my comfort zone and learning new things.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was sweet and safe and sensual and honest.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I can’t remember all of it.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes. Though I still haven’t had sex on Ecstasy, it has shown me what an intense experience than can be. I plan on it one day. It also really helped me get more comfortable with sex. I had been assaulted a year before and since hadn’t been able to be sexual without panicking. Never with him have I felt panicky, largely because he made it clear from day one that he didn’t want me to do to anything I wasn’t enthusiastically into. I did not feel pressured or coerced at all and that really released that panic and allowed me to be comfortable with my sexuality again and feel in control of my body.
It was also my first sexual experience with a lot of the things I knew I liked but had been too shy to ask for in the past: biting & spanking. It was also the first time I had been scratched at all and I found that I really like it.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? 10/10 would do again
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Only recently did I realize that most of the casual sex I had had wasn’t really sex I had wanted. I made myself think I liked casual sex because I though that would make me a “cool girl”. I realized that I don’t like casual fucking if it doesn’t had a level of care in it. I think there has to be some empathy and love in it for me, even if its with a stranger.
Casual sex in general, if its safe and consensual, can be a really eye opening and amazing experience. I think it can be a great way to create unexpected connections with people and to learn a lot about yourself. I think experiencing and learning about your own sexuality is really beautiful and important, especially for people like myself who have been assaulted and have felt like their sexuality was taken away from them.
I think it’s totally ridiculous that casual sex is so taboo. I think that a lot of assumptions are made about people based on their experience with it but casual sex can range so much in how it is treated. Some people just want to orgasm while others want a story to remember forever. Everyone doe sit differently. Don’t make assumptions. That being said, casual sex has a potential to be very dangerous in terms of assault and STIs so there needs to be a lot more talk and education on it. I think people need to be open to the idea that casual sex can mean a lot of things and isn’t this promiscuous, predatory thing we treat it as.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I really like it. We need more dialogue about sex in general and this allows people to read about sooo many types of sexual experiences. I think it helps to rid some of the taboos about sex. There are old people having sex with young people, orgies, friends having sex etc. It shows that everyone has a different experience and its all OK. I also like how frank it is about the consent aspect. I think it could have easily not been addressed but that that it would be really detrimental. Sexual assault and coerced sex is so common and I think the fact that is brought up in these stories really makes it a level playing field and a more accurate representation of what casual sex can be. There’s a lot of experiences you can find on here and I think everyone could find one that helps them reflect on their own experiences or make them feel more comfortable with sex.
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