What’s your gender? Female
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? Hispanic / Latino/a
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Belfast
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Jewish
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Pretty open; just go with the flow
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? About 30
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
The Luck of the Irish
How long ago did this hookup happen? Last week
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? S. was the man of my dreams. Tall, blonde, and the lead guitarist of his band. I was working the gig, and first was introduced to him during soundcheck. I couldn’t believe that he’d be staying in my house that night and wanted him to end up in my bed.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup began that night after many drinks and suppressed sexual tension. We had previously kissed in the bar that the whole band had gone to after the gig, but hadn’t taken it further until we got home. He instigated it.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? This was one of the best one night stands I’ve had as he was a really great kisser and great with compliments. For the first hour, he didn’t want to advance past second base and we just cuddled and made out. After a while, I gave him a blowjob being sure to suck, caress, and make it as pleasurable as possible. We then talked about future plans, first impressions, and how he thought I was out of his league (very not true). Finally, we had sex. While not the best sex I’ve had, it was certainly one of the most intimate experiences. I felt connected to him, even after only knowing him for 24 hours. We tried different positions from doggy style, missionary, and cowgirl. After 4 hours, I had to get up for work, where I’d be seeing him perform again one more time before he left the country.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt happy that the whole experience happened but sad that we lived in different countries because weirdly enough, we’d work well together in a relationship. We are Facebook friends and his band is touring in my country next year so it is “to be continued”…
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Making new friends
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, MDMA, ecstasy, molly
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to my coworkers about the hookup, as well as my best friend. They reacted with shock and disbelief as he’s the second band member that I’ve gotten with as well that was very much out of my league. However, they all believe that we have matching personalities and intentions.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The best thing about this hookup was the increase in my confidence, the emotional connection even during a one-night stand, and the story to come from it.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The realization that even if we wanted more, it isn’t possible.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Casual sex has never been a big deal for me as I am a very sexual person. However, this is one of the only times that I’ve connected intensely with a one-night stand and it has made me be a little more careful with what I share with future partners.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think that slut-shaming is very prevalent in today’s society. Unfortunately, I have experienced more slut-shaming from fellow women than men. It seems that a woman owning her sexuality is threatening to other women, and some men. I would like for people to celebrate each person’s sexuality, no matter how different it is from the norm in society. It is a personal choice and should be respected.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think this is a great vehicle for people to tell real sex stories, and to provide people with the assurance that casual sex is normal, and is ok.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!