What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 41
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Cape Cod
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Non profit social program
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Human Design
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0


How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 months

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was tall, handsome, slightly heavy, great tattoos, a deep gravel voice, creative type who is quick to laugh. We met on Tinder, my only pic was a wasp nest. He was fascinated by that. We chatted and I figured out where he lived by his description, I had hooked up with the person who previously lived in his dwelling! Since it was many years previous we had a good laugh about it.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had a great convo about what we were looking for. We seemed to agree on the terms and met for lunch a few days later then went back to his place.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We are both kinky and we got right into it. Oral on both of us, anal, spanking, choking. We talked before and after about what we liked and how to improve. I felt good, we had great communication and were a good physical match. He was considerate and respectful before during and after

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Well, it went on for a while. 8 months or so. He was “busy” all the time which felt like a rejection since I’m a full-time single Mom who has little free time. He texted me nearly daily and I felt like we were truly friends with a great arrangement. It lasted until I realized that he was seeking others which would have been ok if he told me. I was under the impression we were exclusive but not committed. Since we communicated so often I felt close to him. We talked about our lives in an honest open way. I miss him but know it was best to end it due to his lack of forthcoming honesty.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Condoms, Discussed STI testing history, Plan B / Emergency contraception

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, I was feeling lonely, Making new friends

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friends. They thought it was great due to the open communication

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? When I realized he was seeking others I overreacted. I miss the friendship part as much as the sex

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We got along very well and the sex was great

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It ended abruptly

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Well, this hook up was great. I keep trying to find others but keep getting rejected, denied or dismissed. So, my self-esteem has gotten low

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Sex can be a beautiful intimate experience but it is a primal urge for procreation. I do feel empowered as a single woman to be able to make the coices I do. I don’t talk about it much because of the social stigma. I’d like to see a change in attitudes towards women and their sexual choices

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great! Keep it up

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!