What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 50
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? America
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Management
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
Wife With Friend On Camping Trip
How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 months ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Wife and I have been married/together for 14 years. She is 10 years younger than i am and very attractive. We have experimented in the swinger lifestyle for several years wth a handful of experiences with mixed success, a few good, a few so-so, and a few not so good. We decided to get out of the lifestyle and have been for over 4 years now, although we do sometimes talk about it. Our friend is a male co-worker of mine that we have become good friends with over the last couple of years. He had been in a relationship until just recently. In fact, this trip was planned for the 4 of us to go on and had invited a few other couples. He is one of those guys who has a very outgoing personality and very funny. He is average looking and average body type. My wife and I were always amazed at the girls he could get. We always considered them out of his league but my wife would say his personality and sense of humor is what attracted them. She says personality is always a turn on for her and a guy that makes her laugh will always have a chance.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My friend, David, suggested that the four of us go on a camping trip together. He knew we enjoyed camping as did he. We planned on the four of us plus invited two other couples to join. Shortly after we confirmed plans and committed to it, his girlfriend broke up with him. It was about 4 weeks out from the trip. Shortly after that both other couples backed out, one because of work and the other, we think because they were more friends of my friends girlfriend then us. We talked it over and decided to stick with the plans just the three of us. We figured it was still be a fun get away and perhaps a chance to get his mind off of his break up. The first night after dinner we had a nice fire going and began to relax.
We were drinking and getting high enjoying the peace and nature. We were camping in a state forest where the campsites are spread way out. Our closest nieghbor was at least a half mile away and traffic was almost non- existent. As we became more intoxicated we were beginning to laugh a lot and really enjoy the evening. My wife, always flirty when she gets high began to get a little flirtatious with David. It wasn’t to unusual as we have been together before and he has seen this side of her. I enjoy watching her flirt so I was encouraging it as well. The slight wind was strong enough to blow the smoke in a consistent direction on one side of the fire. This put us all sitting on the same side of the fire, me to one side, my wife in the middle, and David on her other side. After about an hour of occasional flirting I could tell my wife was really feeling good because she start bringing up sex in conversation via innuendoes. As a joke I dared my wife to take her top off because David had not seen tits in a while and I didn’t want him to forget what they looked like. To my surprise she immediately puller her top and bra off. This put us in new territory with David. Before now there was some flirting and a brief time where my wife changed in the back seat of our car when he was with us and he saw her topless. This was different. She sat there for an extended time with her top off and we continued to joke around and have fun. David made excuses, jokingly, to have to “reach for stuff” so he could touch her bare breast brushing against her as he did. My wife played along and I admit I encouraged it.
Finally while “reaching” over her to get another beer out of the cooler he paused and kissed her nipple. It was a prolonged kiss and my wife looked over to me for a cue as what to do. Clearly she was into it and I knew if I would have signaled that I had an issue she would have tactfully ended it. I didn’t give that signal so it continued. David finally lifted his head to look at me and asked, “is this ok?” I just nodded positively and they started to kiss passionately. I was super turned on watching. I have seen her with other guys while we were in the swinger lifestyle but this was the first time with someone I knew in my real life with real world connections, and i had not seen it in years.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? After kissing for several minutes David stopped kissing her grabbed his drink and sit back in his chair. My wife looked at me, got up, came over and kissing me more passionately than she had in a long time before moving over to David. I could tell how horny she was.
She moved over to David, got on her knees between his legs as he sat in his chair. She looked into his eyes as she undid his belt, unbuttoned his pants, and pulled down his zipper. She looked at me for one last chance for me to put a stop to it and she did not see that signal from me. She pulled out his cock and began caressing it with her hand. After a few seconds she began to give him a blowjob. It didn’t take long before I could tell he was about to cum. My wife continued until he came in her mouth as she swallowed all of his cum. After finishing, she got up, kissed him passionately again, said, “whew” and sit back in her chair. I only commented that that was extremely hot to watch. My friend I could tell wasn’t sure what to do. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what was next either. I finally suggested that we all retire to the tent thinking we could continue what she started but my wife said, “no, that was a special treat for David. Let’s just relax and enjoy the fire for a while.” We sat around for a little while longer laughing and talking but barely said anything about what just happened. About an hour later my wife stood up, lightly kissed David good night, grabbed my hand and led me to our tent. We had a extremely good, passionate, fuck before falling asleep.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next morning my wife and I talked about it. I asked what brought that on? And she said that she was just feeling really good, he was really making her laugh, she got excited, and she felt a little sorry for him.
She said she wanted to do something to make him feel good and thought that I was pushing things in that direction. I told her that I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to push the sexual tension really with the thought that it may turn her on for her and I to share after we turned in for the night. I told her that I didn’t mind and enjoyed watching it. The only thing that bothered me was that one of our rules when we were in the swinger lifestyle was that other guys could not cum in her mouth. It was a rule that she always respected before. It bothered me that she broke it this time. We talked it over and she said that she didn’t want to fuck him but wanted him to really enjoy it and thought that it just felt right. It still bothers me to this day but over all it was an extremely hot and enjoyable night. The next night we again drank and smoked but with a decidedly less sexual tension and a different atmosphere. While we still had a good time it was not the same energy or excitement of that first night. In fact the next three nights were about the same. The only difference was on the last night we did discuss what happened a little more. My wife told David that that was intended as a treat for him but please don’t expect it again. She said that she wasn’t saying it could never happen again or maybe even more, but it would be a rare occasion when everything just feels right. She also let him know that she loved me very much and that it would never happen without my presence. That made me feel better. We have hung out several times since the trip but something is different. David and my relationship is not the same. We talk but there seems to be less of something. We don’t talk nearly as much as we did before. He and my wife when together are not the same. They don’t have any of that causal flirtiness or the same easy, conversation. It seems almost awkward when they are together now.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Intoxication
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Just my wife and a little with my friend
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I regret my friend cumming in my wife’s mouth. That was something that we had agreed, granted years ago, that I was not comfortable with and she agreed not to allow it. I also regret how it effected our relationship with my friend. While still friends, it’s different. We are not as close now and when my wife is around us there is an awkwardness
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was amazing to watch. It made me very horny. The sex with my wife afterwards was amazing. There was a raw passion that hadn’t been there in a while.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? My friend cumming in my wife’s mouth. I felt a little bit of a trust broken between my wife and i. It still bothers me a little. We have talked about it numerous times and I understand how it happened but it’s still a little of an issue.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really, the only thing I can think of really is that when it comes to unexpected casual sex every thing can’t be controlled. If we are going to do this we need to open the communication before hand so this doesn’t happen again. I also realized I miss the swinger lifestyle. My wife still doesn’t want to “officially” join the lifestyle again but says she is open to “in the moment” situations. We did agree though that even then we need to risk the mood kill to have a quick private discussion to ensure we are both on board.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? It hasn’t been that long since this happened so my hopes are that the awkwardness with my friend will pass in time. We work together so I think we will remain in contact and hang out outside of work from time to time.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I believe causal sex is for many people a fact of life. It’s perfectly ok as long as every one involved, directly and indirectly, is ok with it. You have to also understand there is risk involved and know that sometimes it may not turn out like you think or want.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting. It allows people to open up about someting that they may not feel comfortable talking about anywhere else. It in turn allows others to gain the insights from those
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