A Night of Desperation



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? NYC
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 13
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

A night of desperation

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? A man who I had matched with on Tinder a day or two before, a yoga teacher with pictures of him meditating and other peaceful things. I hate Ttinder when I use it, and as a result judge the very people I seek out on the app. I thought he was attractive enough from the photos, and a few years older than me. I wasn’t sure what type of person he was but I didn’t have high expectations for his personality. I was searching for good sex and I assumed a yoga teacher would be in touch with their bodies and capable of being in touch with mine. He was a self-described activist, a statement which I would assume a “real” activist wouldn’t have made on a public profile.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was insatiably horny that night, with a need for a sexual adventure. I started chatting with him and asking him questions. I told him I wanted to meet up outside, see him in person and go from there. I made him tell me how much he wanted me and arranged a place to meet. Shortly after deciding he was non-threatening, we went to his place. I made subtle fun of his decorations. We talked and smoked a little, and then I told him to touch my legs as I placed them into his lap.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He knew how to touch me in a way that electrified my desperate body, cooing and contouring around his standing above mine. He carefully peeled off my clothes as I tugged at him to come closer, breaking contact with me by stepping away every so often. He understood what I wanted, and after a fair amount of teasing me with his fingers everywhere, he asked to get a condom. He fucked me for a little, but I wanted to cum first. I told him what he needed to do to get me there, and then he rubbed my clit in all different ways until he found a rhythm that made me cum, tightening up so much I kept pushing his dick out of me. I was more surprised than he was that he was able to do it. He seemed to get off on my pleasure, and that turned me on more. We fucked with the blinds open to see the reflection in the window. He fucked me from behind, hard but not carelessly. He wouldn’t cum until I gave him permission. His desperation slowly grew as mine was satisfied with yet another orgasm, as we stopped and started fucking several times. I eventually gave him permission to cum as he fucked me doggystyle, pulling my hair and holding me down. We laid there panting afterward on his bed, showered, smoked, and fucked again until my pussy was sore and I couldn’t take anymore.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He seemed to feel more connected to me, while I was almost disgusted by his personality (and the things he had said to me) as I left the first night, with no desire to sleep over. I felt a strange, sick pleasure in taking advantage of him for sex and nothing else. He would text me graphic descriptions of what he wanted to do to me in the days following, as well as subtle hints of further attraction. I went over one more time, and left resolute that I wouldn’t do it again. I made that clear to him several days later and haven’t contacted them since.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, IUD (Intrauterine device)

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel better about myself, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Power / Dominance, Boredom, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Marijuana, hashish

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? the satisfaction

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? the feeling of not actually liking the person after having several orgasms with them

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I feel more apprehensive towards having a similar crazed and desperate experience.

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Still undecided on the morality of it. I think we both enjoyed the time had but I wish I had someone I really liked to have that type of experience with, and therefore feel like it was a lie on my part. It is too easy for me to use my sexual currency and so I do it without much consideration

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I tend to seek it out as a more convenient and impatient way to satisfy my sexual cravings; I hate tinder but resort to it

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I like the anonymous and unfiltered aspect of it.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!