A Recurring Theme



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 38
What’s your race/ethnicity? Southeast Asian
What continent do you live on? Australia
What country and/or city do you live in? Australia
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

A recurring theme

How long ago did this hookup happen? Years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Short but very well proportioned. The loveliest waist and breasts. Freckles across her neck and shoulders… they always get me. Short haircut, brown-red hair sometimes with a tinge of blonde. Through uni we had hooked up once or twice, and through our younger working years too. It was always a matter of infidelity. Either she or I was in a relationship, and we always seemed to be attracted to each other when we were with others.
This hookup was equally opportunistic.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I hadn’t seen her in years. We had drifted apart because of work and geographics. We’re in slightly different fields, I had moved back into town recently. I was out for dinner with an old school friend when he mentioned something about her. That sparked off feelings I haven’t had in quite a while. So I emailed and then messaged her.

We agreed to meet in a pub closer to her side of town. I did not expect anything from it. I was just interested in seeing what had happened to her over the years.

We had a few drinks (maybe a few too many), we chatted like old times. She was single, I was married. After a half dozen rounds, we decided to call it a night, and left.

While sitting in my car, I decided to text her a loose comment… secretly hoping she’d take the hint. I said something along the lines of, “How about I swing by your place for old time’s sake?”
She replied with her address.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? She didn’t answer the front door, so I walked around the back. She was smoking nonchalantly. I was freezing so went inside and she followed.

When inside, things moved quickly. We kissed, I took off her jacket, spent forever just kissing her neck and shoulders, while holding her hips. Those hips I reminisced the most. She turned around and stripped down to her underwear and I kept on admiring her. I took off my clothes and by that time we were both naked.

Most of the night was spent on her couch. I loved her pussy and never told her… it was wild, untamed. So much red-brown hair, and tasted amazing. I can’t remember how long I spent down there. Then we fucked bareback missionary, doggy, and her riding me. I had an amazing view of her breasts, they’ve always captivated me.

In the past we’d done much more – rough sex, light choking, anal. In retrospect I wish I had done more as enjoyed it immensely previously… but the drinking had gotten to me and made me I came inside her, and we retreated to her bedroom under the sheets.

We cuddled for a while longer, and fucked again while spooning. Soon after I showered, dressed and kissed her goodbye. She was already in her pyjamas and we both had to work the next day.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? I don’t know

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Complete silence thereafter.
She didn’t want to know me, didn’t respond to any more emails or SMS. I was a bit annoyed and showed it. After a while she asked me not to text her and cease all contact – maybe she felt guilty, or moved on.

I took to mean it literally. I deleted all her contacts, email address, mobile number, everything. I even walked right past her when we’ve crossed paths.

Since then I’ve found out she has found a longterm partner and has had a child, I suspect she wanted to make a real go at monogamy with her partner.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Another friend whom I share these experiences with. She was supportive, has had similar experiences herself.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Seeing her again. Whilst I’ve made a point of removing all her details from my phone, secretly I wish she’d contact me again but I know this is highly unlikely. If she contacts me, I’m not sure how I’d react.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The silence afterwards, and the finality of it all.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? She was the first lover / fuck buddy I had. She opened my eyes to love and sex, and how you can separate the two (and sometimes blur the line between the two). It makes me wonder whether I can remain friends with someone I’ve made love to. I’ll miss her as a friend.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love the stories.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!