Becoming a Cougar



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 51
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Oregon
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? High sex drive; somewhat attracted to women, but mostly heterosexual.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 25
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Becoming a Cougar

How long ago did this hookup happen? Two months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a college student, tall with dark hair, in his mid-20s. Quiet and a bit shy. He posted on Craigslist looking for a FWB, and I replied. We exchanged photos and basic information, texted for a couple of days, then agreed to meet one evening for coffee and to hook up if we wanted to.
I reserved a hotel room ahead of time. I am a widow, and I hadn’t had sex for three years…so I was ready! I liked his pics.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at a busy coffee place and sat down together to talk. He was cute and shy. I felt awkward, being older than him and also overweight. We talked for almost an hour, mostly me, asking him about school etc. He was pleasant and polite, but I couldn’t tell if he thought I was attractive or not. Finally I gathered up my courage and asked him if he wanted to go to the hotel. I was so surprised when he said yes, that I asked him if he was sure! He said yes again, so we drove separately to the hotel, I checked in, and we met at the room.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We kissed. He was a good kisser. He smelled good. I felt less nervous. I felt safe with him.
We continued to kiss standing by the bed and he touched my breasts over my clothes. We lay on the bed, kissing and touching. He lifted my shirt and unhooked my bra, sucked on my nipples. I could feel his erection through his jeans.
We undressed each other…he was very well hung, as he had said he was. I told him that I wanted him inside me. He put on a condom and entered me. It felt so good, he filled me up, pounded me hard and deep for about ten minutes. After he came, we cuddled and talked a bit. Then we kissed again and fucked again in the missionary position. Writing it down, it’s difficult to express, but I did enjoy it quite a bit. After he came the second time, we cuddled a bit more, and he said he had to get going (I expected that). He also said that he’d like to get together again. We dressed and walked out to our cars together.
Three days later he texted me and said his roommates were out that evening, did I want to come over? I did.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt good the next day! I felt attractive again. I felt like a real woman. Big smile on my face….

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, I was feeling lonely

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a friend (via email–she lives in another state). She was surprised, but happy for me. She knows how lonely I’ve been since my husband died.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was very satisfying sexually (I have trouble orgasming, as a side effect of antidepressant medication, but still enjoy sex).
I loved his big cock, his stamina, and that he could go two rounds. Young men are the best in bed! I know he had a good time too. We had good chemistry together. We had sex three times, once at the hotel, once at his place, and once at my place (over a week).

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I found out he was looking for another FWB. I sent him an angry text. He actually apologized to me, even though I was out of line…after all, it was supposed to be NSA… but he said he didn’t want to see me anymore. I regret that, because he was a very good lover. I asked him several times to get together again, but he ignored me.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? A little bit…I was surprised at how hurt I felt when I found out that he was looking for another FWB when we were having a good time together.
I think there’s a need for some kind of emotional connection, even when it’s just a hookup to satisfy physical desires.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? No chance of pregnancy as I’ve had a hysterectomy.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would like to see casual sex be more acceptable, especially for women. We have the same desires that men do. Sex is better in a romantic relationship, but not everyone is lucky enough to have a romantic partner. Sometimes a person just needs to be touched.
Casual sex has allowed me to satisfy my desires and to explore my sexuality.

Of course, for casual sex, those involved should be consenting adults, not under the influence, and protect against STDs and pregnancy.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I don’t know much about it, but appreciate the opportunity to share my story. And I have more stories! ????

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!