Best Friends

by Amanda Mcarthy

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? United States
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
What’s your occupation? none
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Best Friends

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 weeks

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This guy and I would call each other over whenever we wanted to have sex. Completely casual with zero commitment. I am the type of person that avoids anything with the word commitment labeled on it. I figure if I don’t get too involved, I’ll be less likely to get hurt. I had been sexually abused before, so I try to avoid putting sex and relationships in the same place. This guy (we’re going to call him Tim) came over. At the time I had just gotten home from class, and none of my roommates were there. We had been hooking up on and off for about four months. I enjoyed him but only in a sexual way. It was simple. He came over for great quick sex, and that was it. He left and was on his way to a lacrosse game. Now the real fun is what happened after the lacrosse game. His best friend, Peter, came over and we had sex on the same bed with the same sheets (Peter knew that I had been sleeping with Tim but didn’t think I had that day). We all agreed that we would keep this a secret because people in our town love to gossip. Long story short, I still hook up with both of them.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Tim and I first hooked up in his house. I gave him what he said was, “The best head he’s ever gotten.” I guess that’s something that you can’t be bad at as a woman. A couple of weeks went by, and we had sex in his car during a Christmas party. We sent lots of nudes and met up plenty of times just for casual, meaningless sex.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? During the hookup, we both received oral sex and then had vaginal intercourse. During, it I felt amazing. Regardless of the fact I would never be with this person romantically, I felt free. I felt as though I was wanted. He was super sweet to me making sure I was ok. Although we were both just in it for the sex, we also are both very respectful of each other’s wishes which is something you should always have in a relationship, especially when it involves sex. The affair has yet to end.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt great the next day. Since I don’t worry about commitment, I think about the person I slept with as nothing more than a human being with natural instincts.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friend and I talked about the hookup and she was very supportive.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The fact that I am able to be with two different great people just to enjoy ourselves.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Nothing!

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes! I have now realized the importance of casual sex.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? no

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? People often get shamed for the idea that they are willing to expose sexuality and pleasure especially as a woman. I think exploring your body and living life enjoying what you have us of utmost importance.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s wonderful! Nobody should ever be shamed for their actions.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!