Casual Sex for the First Time

by Lilith

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Balkans
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? social science
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? /
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2

Casual sex for the first time

How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was 10 years older, blond, fit guy. He looks younger then his age, boy band kind of look 🙂 Musician, guy that is famous by his success with girls. He worked all over the country, and during these days he was in my town for a while. He was cousin of my best friend, and she set up that few of us have drinks. She wanted to meet him with another friend. I was curios to meet him, because she was talking a lot about him. I wanted to see what will happen because I had idea that two of them wouldn’t end up together. During drinks two of us connected right away. We had similar idea of fun, love, sex. He walked me home, we kissed, exchange numbers and start planning future meetings.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He started talking about sex and I went with the flow. In that time I was 18, very curios about sex, I read a lot, but I was not involved with anybody. I had few petting sessions with previous boyfriend, but I didn`t like him enough and felt secure to go all the way. So, when this guy start to plan sex, I accepted. So, we decided to go in for drinks and drive to some remote place.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we parked, we moved to back seat. We started to kiss and undress each other. It felt great. He went down on me, and I enjoyed it very much. After that, I went down for him. I was very into it, I liked the way he enjoyed it. After that we fucked missionary. Since, he was my first it hurt a little bit.And I was bleeding a little bit at the moment, and I little bit tomorrow. But after that first stroke, it was great. I was so excited that I am not sure if I come or not. He was very gentle, attentive. One of guys who enjoys sex and girls. I can`t remember how he come.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? I don’t know

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I didn`t tell him, that he is my first,so he was surprised. He said that he is sorry that I didn`t tell him, because he would make it more memorable. At that moment, I knew that he would go after few weeks, so we I didn`t have plans with him. But, there was part of me, that wanted to be in relationship with him, because he was so cool, and all of my friends said that there is no way that we will end up together. We saw each other few more times, and I realized that I want boyfriend and since it is not going to happen with him, it is the best to stop it. We are still great friends, and we hooked up few more times during past years. Sex with him is still some of the tops in my life. I regret that I didn`t tell him that he is my first and that I wanted to make that experience less important then it was to me. Now I get that embracing your sexuality means and embracing the way you practice it at the moment. Being casual doesn`t mean that is not important to you.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more confident

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My best friends, They were ok with it, because it was something I wanted.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Sex with him. How it was easy, the way we communicated. Him as lover.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not admitting myself that it is important experience for me.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It confirmed my idea that if you are informed, have partner that is experienced/know himself, and if you communicate openly sex is going to be great. And that love and sex can be separated, that I can separate love and lust.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? /

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Stop the shame about people having casual sex. Everyone is doing it, more or less, just people hide it. Shame cause all stupid rationalization that cover: I wanted to fuck that person in that moment, so I did it.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I loved it. It is really honest conversation about sex and valid research. It helped me to overcome my guilt for having first sex outside of relationship because I saw that there is more people who did it that way.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!