Coming Out



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
What’s your occupation? student
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly gay/lesbian
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2

Coming Out

How long ago did this hookup happen? last Friday

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? P is a handsome gay man in his mid thirties. He is tall, takes care of his body and is very educated. He doesn t have anything that the stereotypes associate with gay. I met him that evening in a gay club. I liked him and his looks and he seemed to have had the hots for me, too.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I have realised that I have homosexual tendencies, even though I was in a long term hetero relationship. I have met N. a gay guy my age via gaydar. We have had sex and developed a bit of a friendship. N. has a boyfriend and offered to help me find one. (see last story)

Last week I learned that my girlfriend would spend Friday evening with her family. Good time for me to contact N. to ask whether he would fulfil his promise and go out with me to help me find a boyfriend. N. was up for it and suggested me to meet him at his place to go out together with his boyfriend.
When I came to his place, the boyfriend was already there. I had hoped for some casual sex with N. beforehand, but none to be had. N. had told his bf about me and this guy seemed to be totally cool with it that N. had fucked me! He even made some jokes about it! He was pretty nice to me. Before we left the house, we smoked some weed.

We went to a gay club where N. and his bf introduced me to some people. We had a great time together and I started checking out the guys. N. and his bf had made that easier by declaring to everybody that I was available as I had just started to be “in the scene”.
This way I met P. who really seemed to have the hots for me. I was attracted to him and hoping that he would be my man for the evening.

Later on that evening, I told P. that I do not really like the music and would probably leave soon. P. pretty bluntly asked whether I would prefer to go to his place to listen to some better stuff. I happily agreed and off we went.

I liked how obvious and open this was, especially when I told N. what I was about to do. He was happy for me and wished me a great experience.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? P. and I went to his place. We kissed as soon as we got out of the club. It was very clear that this wasnt about music at all. We were two men who had decided they wanted to have sex with each other.

So we immediately went to the bedroom and undressed. Again I was proud of myself that P. had an erection because of me. He was a great sex teacher. He taught me how to prolong the sex by not ejaculating early on. The mutual oral was amazing. His penis is big and fat, so much fun to play with it.
P. lubed me for anal sex. I was a bit afraid of it because his penis is so big and it had already hurt a bit with N.s skinny penis. I suggested that P. takes me from behind, but P. wanted me to ride on him, because that would make me feel more like a girl. Luckily I was adventurous enough to try, because it felt amazing! It really was like being a girl and we kissed while I was riding cowgirl on his big cock. It didnt hurt at all, probably because I was numbed from the alcohol I had consumed that night.

We eventually fell asleep afte a lot of sex. and continued to have sex the next morning. I finally got to taste P. s cum which was so good.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We discussed my situation over breakfast and P. told me that it is normal to have sexual desire for both sexes. He has had a sexual encounter with a woman earlier this year. But he thought that I should be honest with my girlfriend and tell her what is going on.

I told P. how much I enjoyed the sex with him and that I would love to see him again. He was happy to hear that and gave me his number.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I met up with my girl friend later on Saturday and we had sex because she instigated it. It wasn t very good. I had a bad conscience and did not enjoy the sex so afterwards I told her what had happened. She was devastated and cried. We broke up with each other.

I am sad because we had been together for more than two years, but then on the other hand I feel liberated and look forward to hopefully being together with P.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? great sex with the prospect of having a male sex partner.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Coming out this way to my gf did hurt, of course.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I just changed my entire life! Now I am officially gay.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I guess now that I am officially gay, I can have easy casual sex.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!