Coming Together Makes A Big Mistake

by Ebenezor

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 42
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? UK
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Manager
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 30+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2

Coming Together Makes A Big Mistake

How long ago did this hookup happen? Nearly 5 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Abi was a pretty brunette, shortish height, big brown eyes and curves that sent me wild. I have posted about her before. We met a few months previously through work and had a secret relationship.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We saw each other regularly – most weeks and usually in hotels. However, on this occasion, she invited me to stay at her place as she’d be alone this Friday night.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As usual, when we saw each other, we couldn’t keep our hands off one other. We were both usually so turned on from the anticipation and the foreplay that went on by text or phone that we sometimes began to fuck as soon as we met. It was like that on this occasion. She’d put the mattress of her bed on the floor as the metal frame was really squeaky and it put her off as we worried about her neighbours hearing us. I made her come easily and repeatedly (as usual) and I knew I was getting close. She wasn’t on birth control and wasn’t keen on condoms. I also preferred the feeling of her without, but we continued to use them most of the time. In the previous month, however, she’d let me come inside her as we wanted to feel it. For me, there is no feeling like it, I felt so close to her at that moment. She had later taken the Morning After pill and it worked out okay.

This time I really wanted to come inside her again and I asked her in the heat of passion if I could. She readily said yes. That caused me to pump her even harder inside her and I felt my orgasm building before I released my load into her. That triggered her to come again at exactly the same time. It was our first simultaneous orgasm.

We then got dressed and ordered a takeaway. Then we fucked again and I came inside her once more.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next morning I had to leave early and head back home on the train. We continued to exchange messages. At some point – I don’t know if it was even that same day – she went to the pharmacist and took the pill.

However a few weeks later she messaged me to say that her period was late and that her boobs were quite sensitive and she was feeling ‘odd’. She went to get a pregnancy test. It came back as positive. We were in shock – although we shouldn’t have been surprised. I felt that I had put pressure on her and I very much regretted it. We were both blasé about the efficacy of the emergency contraception.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Plan B / Emergency contraception

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I didn’t tell anyone about this but she did tell some friends subsequently.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? That we were so careless and blasé about the risks of her getting pregnant. We should have been more careful. It is something that I will never forgive myself for.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The feeling of coming inside her and us both coming exactly at the same time

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That she got pregnant. I went with her a few weeks later when she had the abortion. They had those religious protesters outside the clinic. I hated them for their judgment. Yes, we made a mistake but we owned the consequences of it. Who are they to be in judgment and try and make women who go there ashamed? Most of them were men of course.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No, it just underlined the need to use protection

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? What happened probably led to us seeing other for longer, ironically. It left a deeper bond between us, especially given the need for the secrecy.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is a response to a normal human need. As long as people are not getting hurt and you are using protection, of course, there shouldn’t be any shame in it.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It is such a great idea and it is wonderful to be able to share and read others’ stories.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!