Do Not Judge Me



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 49
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Hamburg, Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? controller and adult teacher
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? about 50
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

Do Not Judge Me

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2002

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a short, petite lady, a little older than me. We met at a speed-dating event. Turns out she worked as a prosecutor for homicides, but she was the least judgmental and most unruly person I had ever met. At first I did not think much of her one way or the other, but my impression was that she liked me.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had talked, and at the end, we received our matches. She was one of two women who agreed to meet me again. I suggested that we go for dinner, and we did. After that I suggested that we go to her place “for some cuddling”, being the naive nice guy that I was. She agreed. I still had an errand to run, so I did that and then went to her place.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? As I am so enthusiastic about it, I gave her oral for a long time and then passionately kissed her everywhere. She smiled, moaned, seemed to enjoy it. She blew me a little, then we had passionate vaginal sex. As is often the case, I did not achieve orgasm during the first encounter.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt great. We ended up, after some back-and-forth, meeting a few more times. It was a bit complicated because I was still getting over a breakup.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To feel better about myself.

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? A small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Since she has an exposed position, if I ever talk about it, I conceal her identity a bit. When I tell friends, they nod.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Another opportunity to have passionate, intense sex

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? After one date, I let her go home alone because I was caught up in the pain of my recent breakup. I did not like that.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would like to see more people hook up and be honest about it

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? cool thing

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!