Each Committed, Each Sexless



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30s
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Each Committed, Each Sexless

How long ago did this hookup happen? last night

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He has dark hair, dark eyes, and looks intensely serious until he smiles. I always found him attractive. We met at a networking event. We’ve become friends and colleagues, talking about work stuff and touching on personal life stuff. He has always championed my work ambitions, told me many times what an incredible woman I am and how I could conquer the world; I found his intense compliments sweet yet bewildering coming from a married man.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He was going to be in town for a work event. We made plans for appetizers and drinks at his hotel. I put a little extra effort into looking good, and he acted like a perfect gentleman the whole evening. I knew he’s been on the rocks with his wife for about 4 months, so I wondered if he’d be open for a hookup, but never asked. He knows I’m in a new and long-distance relationship; I don’t know if he had any ideas about a hookup. Dinner conversation turned towards personal/life fulfillment, and then to sex (using abstract terms). When the bar closed, we took our drinks to a quiet, common area of the hotel lobby and continued talking. With a few drinks on board, we were talking directly about sex, no need to be abstract anymore. He said it was a travesty that my new boyfriend and I hadn’t slept together yet. The gleam in his eye told me he wanted to make it up to me. I went to the bathroom to stare at myself in the mirror like WTF ARE YOU DOING GIRL, and I came out resolved to head home. He asked, “Are you sure?: I said, “Well, I mean, what else can we do?” He scooted closer to me on the couch and said, “First, I want you to know that I respect you and that we are friends before anything else… but, would you like to accompany me upstairs?” His eyes begged me to kiss him, but I told him he’d have to make the first move since he had more to lose, being married. He ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me, gentle at first, and when I responded, he got more intense. We stood up and headed to the elevator to go up to his room.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we got to his room, we started kissing and taking each others clothes off. I told him to be gentle and not leave any marks on my body. He popped my bra off with ease and admired my breasts, kissing them and sucking my nipples. His hand went between my legs to touch me over my jeans, and I told him, “I didn’t want to have sex tonight, let’s ease into this and see how we feel.” He said, “Absolutely, whatever your heart desires.” We kept making out, our bare chests pressed together, and he backed me up to lay me down on the bed, kissing me down my neck to my breasts, stomach, pantyline, pulling at my jeans. I got nervous and also said, “No going down on me… but I love sucking cock.” And he said, “Yes please.” His dick was a grower and grew nicely as I worked it. We moved from the bed to a chair and he put a pillow down for me to kneel on. I looked up at him a bunch with his cock in my mouth. He was in ecstacy. He loved it when I gathered a bunch of spit and spit it on his cock. He also loved his balls in my mouth; he took over stroking his cock (super fast, in my honest opinion, but no judgment) and asked me to keep sucking his balls. Then he motioned for me to take his cock back into my mouth and said he was close to cumming. A few seconds later he shot his load into my mouth as I kept sucking him off. I went to the bathroom to spit (that stuff makes me gag, ugh). He followed to check on me. I admired his body – very trim, well groomed, strong muscles, washboard abs; this is a man I’ve only ever seen before in full business attire, and damn, he is FINE. We went back to the bed, made out, and he started to finger me. I was so wet from giving him head that he slipped 2 fingers in my pussy easily. He teased me with a finger pressing my asshole from time to time, just sensing if I was game. He could sense I was, which made him hard again. Then he hit upon my g-spot and I told him to keep going there. I climaxed in a minute or so. It felt so good. I wanted to fuck him but more wanted to delay our gratification until his next visit. He agreed, and as we laid there relaxing in each others arms, we described to each other how we had each imagined fucking each other. So hot.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We laid together, naked, skin on skin, for about ten minutes, then made out some more. Then I got dressed and he walked me to my car. Today we talked on the phone and agreed that we’re both ok with this arrangement as long as it stays fun and meets our needs: his wife won’t sleep with him anymore, and my boyfriend lives far away and can’t visit often, and like I said we hadn’t had sex yet. This hookup guy and I are both very physical people and crave touch.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one, not even my best friends. My BFF is friends with my boyfriend, and my best guy friend is friends with this hookup guy.

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? It’s going to change the way I feel about my boyfriend.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Fulfillment of fantasies with a promise for more.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not being able to stay over because we each had early work commitments this morning.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It’s opened my mind to meeting my sexual needs outside of my relationship. But I feel kind of terrible for cheating on my boyfriend. He would be crushed.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I’ll post again when we hookup again.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’ve always considered myself a free agent until sex happens with a new relationship partner. This is putting that idea into action. Aside from feeling guilty about cheating, I think this is fine.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? This is great. I’ve read a bunch of stories – long and short, a little and a lot of detail – so hopefully this makes sense and is enjoyable for others to read.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!