Exploring My Sub Side



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 31
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Lawyer
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Still finding out what I like
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 4

Exploring my sub side

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 weeks

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is a sexy 24 year old policeman that I got to know in a club. He is well built, very muscular, has dark short hair, a little dark stubble, a very sweet smile and beautiful brown eyes. In the club we kissed and exchanged numbers. Afterwards, we texted, which led to sexting, which led to us meeting once in his flat, having sex. Some weeks later, we met again in a hotel room and fucked for 3 hours (see last two stories submitted). I had stopped the contact for a few months when my boyfriend made an effort to have more sex with me. However after a while his efforts ceased again and once again I was back in this happy relationship with this amazing person that had this one drawback: I do not get enough sex. I contacted the police officer again and we started sexting regularly when my boyfriend was away on weekends. I wanted to see him again and asked for him to come to my city (he lives in another city) and he booked a room here. I was excited.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I prepared myself (shaving, nails, nice underwear etc.) and went to his room in the evening. I knocked, he let me in. We said maybe two sentences to each other and started kissing. He quickly took my dress off. He is much broader and massive and a little smaller than my boyfriend so that he seemed big to me.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He led me to the bed and took off my clothes. Then he whipped out a blindfold and put it on me. He started kissing me all over, pulling my ass closer to the edge of the bed. He knelt in front of it and licked my pussy while fingering me. He also licked my asshole like he did last time; this time I was not as shocked. However my position on the bed was quite uncomfortable and I couldn’t relax. After a while he stopped and stood before me and gave control over to me. I took his dick in my mouth and blew him a little, quite lovingly and gentle. We lay on the bed together, kissing, stroking. I would have liked to fuck him so he got a condom. But it was too small – his dick is very broad, too broad really to fit anywhere without a struggle, and he went soft from the difficulty of getting the condom on. He took it with some humour, saying “Well this isn’t a proper boner for this occasion” and we just kept cuddling. I made my way down to his dick with my mouth and continued to blow him and he liked it a lot. He took my head, giving me the rhythm he liked, and I used my hands as a support. I do enjoy giving him this pleasure, but I always feel overwhelmed with his dick because I can hardly fit it into my mouth and blowing him isn’t really difficult, especially when he starts getting faster toward the end. It takes every ounce of concentration I have to neither scrape him with my teeth nor to get cramps. He came with a big load in my mouth and was happy. I lay on his chest, drank some water. I got a cramp in my foot and had to stand up to fight it.
We spooned a little and he got hard again so I gave him one of the condoms I had brought, which worked better. He told me to kneel in front of him with my ass towards him. He entered me quickly and pushed my head into the mattress, so that my ass was sticking out. He fucked me from behind, quite rough, and getting rougher by the minute. He gathered my hair and yanked it back, and then took my arm and twisted it on my back. He really slammed into me with brutal force and I took it as long as I could stand it and then shouted stop. He immediately stopped. I fell down on my stomach, panting like crazy, gathering myself.
We spooned some more and he started thrusting his dick between my legs, brushing my pussy, which I enjoyed a lot. He then pulled me onto him, both of us lying on our backs. He fingered my pussy and at the same time lightly put his hand around my neck. He started to choke my a little and I found it turned me on like crazy. I was very surprised by that because the thought of choking does not excite me at all, but feeling his whole body underneath me, his hand on my pussy, his other strong hand on my throat and being at his mercy, his gentleness and yet determination – it was very hot. Before I could come, he got another condom and entered me in missionary. He then pulled my legs both straight up, along his chest and against his shoulders, pressing them down towards my shoulders with his weight, fucking me deep. He is lucky that I am that bendy! He once again fucked me very hard, but this time he soon said, “You are so tight, I will come soon,” and he did.
We snuggled afterwards and talked a little about our jobs, but that is more for passing time than in order to get to know each other. I told him I would like to take a shower and he asked me to once again suck his dick before that, so I did and gave him another blowjob.
Afterwards I showered, got dressed, and quickly kissed him goodbye in order to catch the last subway. We had fucked for 3 hours.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I had not enjoyed this hookup as much as the last one as I had not come. Also, I still have difficulties telling him what I like. I very much like that he just does news stuff with me and I get to experience them and realize that I like things I never thought I would like. I realized in the aftermath that I seem to have some part in me that enjoys being dominated. In the following sexting sessions we explored that side a little further. Maybe it is because in real life I am a strong, controlled, successful, independent and dominant person, so that it excites me to let all of that control go.
We keep on sexting about every two weeks. He told me he would love a threesome with another woman and I would love that too, but neither of us has any idea how to find such a person…

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I do not talk to anyone about this guy. He is my secret.

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Realizing I like being dominated.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The cheating.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I started to think about domination, control and subordination in my life.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I wanted to see him again two weeks later, but he did not have time.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would love to be in a loving, fulfilling steady relationship and still fuck other guys casually. Sex, love, infatuation and friendship are all different things. You can feel all of them for one person, but that doesn’t mean you can’t feel any of them for another person, too.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Great!!

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!