What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 22
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? Asia
What country and/or city do you live in? South Korea
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? More than 10, less than 20… well, I think.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None.
A Fuck Buddy Who Was White Version of My Horrible Ex
How long ago did this hookup happen? More or less than a year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? We met on Tinder. He wasn’t really my cup of tea, to be honest, for my motto for guys for so long was “The bigger (whatever that may be), the better,” and he was very skinny, average height. Spoke a funny dialect from somewhere in the US, which I wasn’t used to, which he was able to tone down but it would slip from time to time.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was supposed to meet up with this guy, but he bailed on the day, and I was very unhappy because I had too much time and I wanted to fuck. So even though I wasn’t too into this one (I will call him T from here on) who looked a little too docile and led horrible conversation, I convinced him to meet up on maybe like a 4 hour notice because he was near and he was available.
But after we agreed to meet, this guy who bailed on me rang me to tell me that he managed to steal some time; so I did fuck him before I met T. Sex was amazing, so I wasn’t in any rush to fuck another one that night, but I didn’t feel like bailing on T since it was me who was the aggressive one on making plans. So I met up, wasn’t sure if I was going to fuck him (again, not my cup of tea,) drank whiskey, talked, and more or less fell in love with him. And yea, I did fuck that night.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Kissing, fingering (on the receiving end,) oral sex (on the giving end,) then the actual fucking. He was large and hard, but wasn’t really good on techniques especially considering the fact that he’s maybe 7 or 8 years older than me, so we started missionary then I rode him in the midway cuz I was sure I was better.
He was energetic (or, rough,) not technical, overwhelmed by my body and how I fucked him, so it was overall good sex I would say. Don’t remember if I came, but he did. We didn’t talk really during fucking.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We both felt the connection and wanted to consider maybe going serious. I was the farthest I could be from being able to be in a relationship, mental-wise, and wasn’t planning to. It was the last thing I wanted to do then. Then I just fell for T then I started obsessing over him, the typical post-fresh-break-up behavior, etc., etc., so didn’t turn out well. I fucked other guys because I gave up very fast thinking he wasn’t interested in me enough, and he went off when I told him about this. Both were still up to sex though. Looking back, not getting into a relationship with this guy was a true blessing for me. He was basically the white, older version of my ex-boyfriend with whom I had a terrible relationship/breakup then. I got into a relationship with another guy shortly after the fuck-buddy relationship with T happened, which lasted for about 1-2 month(s). T rang me up every so often for a booty call, even quite recently. I had to tell him off because I was in a relationship (with the same guy I started the relationship with) and he was in fucking America, dude, get it together.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, Boredom, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Close friends. None of them hadn’t experienced hookups but they weren’t judgemental. One was with me when I was riding the emotional rollercoaster when I was in the middle of that thing with T. Laughed at him with me after the fuck-buddy relationship ended.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? My first (and last) ever fuck buddy experience.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? He was overall not a good human being. Well, he was good, he just turned out to be the last type I want to be in a relationship with.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? We planned to meet on Valentine’s, and he bailed.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Mixed feelings. Casual sex does give you a confidence boost when you get to have a good one. Not very successful prowl or mediocrely to horrible experiences do leave you hollow. I got to learn a lot about people and myself, the way I thought about myself. One thing I learned is understanding that I don’t need to fall for every person for a reason I previously would. Another thing is that it doesn’t really make you any less lonely if you were lonely in the first place when you began seeking a casual sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It was nice getting to write about my experience, and I feel good to help if I did.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!