I Don’t Know What Happened

by Kat

Gender: Female
Age: 24
Race/ethnicity: Chinese Australian
Current location: Australia
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
Occupation: Student
Relationship status: No idea
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 1
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

I Don’t Know What Happened

How long ago did this hookup happen? Current – June – Present

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? Booty call

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Graham was tall with brown hair and blue eyes. He was older than me and we met at work. He’s 43 and before the hook up I thought he was really nice. In a friendly way. I never really thought of him in a romantic sense but he was a nice guy, he had his life together and liked some of the same things I did despite the age difference.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup began via text? We started talking about work stuff and he asked if I was up for seeing him outside the office. I couldn’t tell if he meant it in a romantic sense or not. It was a day date, at an athletics field (we’re both quite sporty) and then we had brunch. Fast forward about 3 dates, that’s when we started sleeping together.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He had a day off work and wanted to take me to the beach to walk along the coast (it was winter at the time). We actually met at his apartment and started hooking up. Pretty standard sex to be honest, actually it wasn’t really that enjoyable at all. Vaginal sex, we started in missionary with a few variations but he seriously only lasted maybe 3-4 minutes. I was underwhelmed. Then we went on our walk, then we went back to his and had sex two more times which were slightly more pleasurable but still not great, and he kept cumming at around the 5 minute mark which isn’t ideal. He also made very little effort to pleasure me which was a bit weird. Most guys normally try to pleasure their partner but like honestly he just wanted to put his dick in me. Acted like it was great, kept asking if I was ready before he’d go at it. It was just a bit creepy, like he tried to make it sexy but it just didn’t work.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? He had three. I got zip.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Condoms the first time, honestly the next two times were pursued by him and happened quite quickly. I was a bit mad that he didn’t use a condom for the other times, I sort of thought he had but he didn’t. I’m on the pill and he knew but still…. is it wrong to have some common courtesy for the woman you’re fucking and the one you work with?

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I just wanted to try it as bad as that sounds. I actually still can’t figure out if I like him three months later. We’re still screwing and the sex is a bit better now but we’re sort of emotionally attached now.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Zip

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After this, we continued to see each other. We both went on travelling for a month but separately after dating for three weeks. He kept in contact every day and we grew considerably closer. The reason I write this now is because I think it’s over. I had a suspicion that he might have a girlfriend. We only ever saw each other during weekdays during the day, he never stayed over and would get antsy if I asked what he was doing on weekends. Finally, after a date and some sex, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He said no, but that he was going on dates which I was sort of fine with. The next day he texted me to say he “felt bad”, he actually has a girlfriend, who went on his holiday with him and that she’s leaving in four months and that they’ll break up. He then proceeded to tell me that he would like to keep us in an open relationship (but had no intention to tell his girlfriend about me, or his friends and family since they had already met her and thought they were dating). Really – I was a runner up piece of ass and he wants that to continue.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Briefly my sister. I haven’t told her about the girlfriend part so she isn’t mad at him…. yet.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yeah, I guess so. Not very enthusiastically on my part.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes, he has a girlfriend, he has for five months (and been dating me for three) and now I feel angry and guilty. I wasn’t complicit in it but I know that if she knew she would be hurt.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not a best thing really – I thought he was sweet but he’s crap in bed, doesn’t last long and it wasn’t very considerate to my needs in bed.

Worst – the girlfriend. But that’s his fault not mine.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

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