Reconnecting with a Fuck Buddy



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? United Kingdom, Yorkshire
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Marketing manager
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? A bit gay
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 12
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Reconnecting with a Fuck Buddy

How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For more than 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He lived in a nearby village to me and had previously been a fuck buddy when we were 16 (he is the same age). I was introduced through a friend at a party initially and to be honest I had never met anyone so fun, confident, and attractive! He had dark hair, blue eyes, and was into theatre & performance. Others perhaps thought he was cocky. I was able to explore my sexuality with him in a non-judgemental way. I always looked back on that short time (the summer before going to college) fondly, but we lost contact until I instigated a hook up again at age 19.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I instigated the hookup. I was 19 and had been in a very controlling and unhappy relationship for three years which I had finally broken free from. I had such liberating memories from years prior with this person that I thought that I should get in touch, I Facebooked him in the spur of the moment, and he was back from university. 1 hour later I was in his kitchen.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? It was passionate and fast. We hadn’t discussed anything sexual up until this point, just small talk and catching up on life. We went up to his bedroom (no parents were home), and I distinctly remember him saying “fuck it” followed by a passionate embrace, lots of heavy breathing and a rush to strip clothes off. I had every intention of losing myself again with him and gain a bit of the ‘old me’ back. I didn’t care about orgasm at this point, I just wanted to feel him inside me, I remembered very well his large slightly tapered penis, and after three years of sexual misery with my ex, the familiar sensation felt fantastic! I gave him oral, and I remember him spitting on me from behind and thrusting inside me until he came. This was not about my orgasm quite clearly, but strangely I didn’t care whatsoever. I wanted the fast, animalistic sex and it was such a thrilling experience. He pulled out and got me a towel. We were both laughing afterward and got dressed to go outside for a cigarette together.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Driving away I felt liberated and full of life! We had a few more hook ups after this session. I had no hopes for anything with him more than sex. I still stay in touch via Facebook, liking posts here and there. I feel there will always be a connection between us of some kind.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, Power / Dominance

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My girl friends and guy best friend. The guy was so delighted for me, girlfriends a little jealous (they were in an unhappy relationship)

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I regained confidence in myself!

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? my disregard for sexual health

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes I developed more sexual confidence and body confidence!

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? Hooking up was something this person did regularly

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I would like the stigma and gender differences to change. This hook up did wonders for my self esteem!

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s brilliant and I look forward to reading through other stories

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!