Taking Control



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 40
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? US
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Customer service
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Taking Control

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 week ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met him online and we met for dinner. He is an older man, nice looking, kind, and well-spoken. We met specifically to see if we were attracted to each other for a long-term sex-only situation. It was a very polite meeting and we departed agreeing to think about it and message each other.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I sent a text and told him that I was interested. He sent me back a text and that turned into sexting. As the details got more graphic, I realized that he wanted to dominate, so I went along with it. I like the idea of letting go and not taking the lead, so it seemed to work for both of us. The details were very graphic and we agreed to meet that night to play out our fantasies.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We met late at night at a small business that he owned. He put a blanket on the floor and immediately took control. He wanted a blow job and wanted me to gag and have my face fucked. He was dominant but considerate. He sucked hard on my neck and twisted my nipples. He decided the positions and we went back and forth between missionary style and blow job for him. He wanted me to taste myself too. He likes to talk dirty, using very graphic language including the use of cunt, fuck, and cock. I was very turned on by him and was a very willing partner. His penis wasn’t huge and sometimes seemed semi-flaccid, but he kept the activities going so I did not have time to think about it much. He wanted to make sure that I told him that he owned me, possessed me, and that I was all his and no one else’s. When he was ready, he asked me where I wanted him to come. I told him in my mouth and he complied quickly.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Afterward, we dressed and kissed goodbye at the door. He checked to make sure I got home safely.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Sterilization, Discussed STI testing history

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Submission / Relinquishing power

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? No one.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? I didn’t tell anyone

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Exploring new things – allowing myself to go in a direction that I had not before.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The penetrative sex wasn’t as satisfactory as I like.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, I realize that I can: 1) let myself go and explore new things, and 2) emotionally handle a casual sex relationship.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? He is married and disclosed that to me.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think that it gives people like me the chance to share the details of a situation. My family is aware that I am exploring casual relationships, but they don’t want to hear the details.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!