The Journey



What’s your gender? Genderqueer / Nonbinary
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Minneapolis
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Barista
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Gay/lesbian
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Queer, Top
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 14
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

The Journey

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last week

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met this person online, they are tall and lanky, with a Roman nose and short hair, small breasts, lean build, dark eyes, the definition of boyish.

We met at a Mexican resturant and talked about work.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? When we finished our drinks they asked me if I wanted to go “make out or something”. I appreciated the candor.

They text me their address and I meet them at their house.

Normally it isn’t this easy to hook up with another masculine person, so having somebody else take the lead is refreshing.

We smoked some pot and drank a little bit of whiskey and they wound up in my lap.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? During the hook up I topped, using the four fingers on my right hand to stimulate their G spot and my mouth a little bit on their clitoris. It was easy to get rough with them and they responded really well to it; I put my hand on their sternum to hold them down, they ejaculate twice screaming. I’m greatful they don’t have roomates.

I offered to get them some water and asked if that was good for them – if they came, if I had been too rough, etc.

Dispite all the screaming, and flailing limbs and sweaty bodies, they didn’t come at all. Apparently they almost never do.

They told me, that for them “it’s all about the journey.” I shrugged and we did it all again.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I text them the next day to see if they had any cramps or were in any pain. They said they were, but they really liked it. They thanked me for coming over, and want to get together some time soon.

Sounds great to me!

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Discussed STI testing history, Exchanged recent STI test results, No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, Power / Dominance, Making new friends, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My roomates, though they don’t know it was freaky rough sex, just that I hooked up with that librarian I met online.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? We both knew exactly what we wanted, and communicated it easily. I got to top and was not at all pressured to switch, dispite the fact they said they only wanted to top on their OKC profile.It was really cool of them to let me work in my comfort zone, it was a relief that they were so flexible.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Bad kissing compatibility, they remind me of somebody I hooked up with in college.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really, this was par for the course. What surprised me most abour this particular partner was how easy it was to communicate with them. To read their body and face and make sense of the good/yes-more sounds vs. The bad/not-like-that sounds.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I think to be clear, I should just affirm that thus was sex between two masculine female bodied people. With “they/them” pronouns.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex makes me feel powerful and desired.

I think casual sex is really important to the queer community, especially queer women and trans folk. Casual sex without the influence of straight male power and expectations is a really important.

When it comes to sex, I don’t think straight people treat each other as well as queer people each other.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Oh, I saw it on a Ted talk; the questionnaire-style format is a little awkward.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!