What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 18
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Sweden
Highest education received: Not graduated from high-school
What’s your occupation? Studying
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly gay/lesbian
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I value relationships with women way higher than that of men, the latter which I mostly just fuck
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Third Time With the Comrade
How long ago did this hookup happen? Three days ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is 25, so seven years older. Prematurely graying buzzcut, and very average built. It was our third hook-up. We met through our local leftist youth group and were having meetings and events together for about a year after which he slowly dropped out due to him getting too old for it. After that we only saw each other at our common friend’s parties – who we also know through the politics – for about another year until we started hooking up. I’ve felt almost abnormally neutral towards him. Not in a bad way, there’s just not that much that stands out with him more than his naturally grayish hair and being a RATM punk in nursing school. But through the parties I started seeing him as more and more attractive in that discreet way I like.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We made out in the last hour of our friend’s birthday party and that was where the sexual tension began to build up. Closing up and leaving, we agreed to “complete the deal” sometime later. We messaged casually back and forth on Facebook about once every two weeks for about six months until he said he was free from his internship that weekend and thus invited me over for dinner. That was the first hook-up and our now third one came across by me asking three weeks later if he was free this weekend.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Oral (mutual), vaginal, hand stuff. We got on very, very good with us joking, teasing, being honest and communicating our wishes and needs throughout the night. I had one of my best experiences ever giving oral and being touched across my body. He was very engaging and active, being much more complimenting than during our previous hook-ups.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The morning after he acted very unlike himself though, being distant, reluctant to touch and generally quite colder than he ever is otherwise. But it might’ve just been him being tired since he obviously enjoys my company in more ways than just sexual. Nonetheless I went home feeling unsatisfied due to his unexplained expressionless-ness in the morning. I wanted and still want to continue fucking him since we get along well, have great sex and great talks, but I also feel a little more reluctant to hook up with him after his acting weird.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) IUD (Intrauterine device)
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The build-up of the sex – the intense teasing and touching
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Him being unusually distant the morning after
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I feel slightly better about my breasts since he complimented them enthusiastically but I also think it might not be that bad of an idea to go home before spending the night next time
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I like it. It lets me explore my sexuality without bigger boundaries and I don’t think consenting adults should be critiziced of anything harmless they choose to do, but I also think that the female sexual “empowerment” that people talk of being about sex positivity sometimes can be very counterproductive to real feminist progress and valuable sexual health when it only focuses on promoting women’s choice to be openly sexual beings instead of promoting the non-sexualization of women. I see how my female friends around me – all engaged feminists – are being more and more coerced to have lots of casual sex not because they are being asked to contemplate what they want out of life and sexuality, but from the ideal of the carefree, cool, sexual, feminist woman is spreading across our culture. Not that being that person would be a bad thing, but I just think that we should focus more on our individual sexual introspection than showing the same old feminism-washed misogynist crap down each other’s throats again and again.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I find it being an interesting idea
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