Unrequited

by Princessinveryhotheels

Age: 23
Race/ethnicity: Black
Location: Nowhere
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
Occupation: Successful Entrepreneur
Religious affiliation: Christian
Sexual orientation: Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? No
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Unrequited

How long ago did this hookup happen? Over a series of time

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, paid sex; something else.)? All of the above

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He looks like Ryan Gosling… (there’s also a black ginger; seriously, weirdest thing ever). Then the holiday hook up. The Ryan Gosling guy was internet dating gone wrong. Sex on the first date. I tried to keep interested in him after….we broke up a month later. We keep in contact but only when we’re lonely. The ginger black guy was a draaaagg. One year of fuck buddy ‘will he, wont he’ emotional torture. I finally got the message after a year. He just wanted the sex. I left him. The one holiday hook up was just a holiday romance that lasted too long. After 3 years of stop and start sex, I finally got bored. Told him to fuck off.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? No planning. I never instigate. They always pursue, I always end it.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Not much; oral, vaginal, no anal. I felt lovely doing it. Felt awful on the way home and days after. Alcohol was usually present to numb the guilt and senses. They were all good in their own individual ways. I never orgasmed. That’s too intimate. I made sure I made them come before I did. Two were very affectionate. One was an utter idiot (I stayed with him the longest).

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? Never used condoms. Had the implant to prevent pregnancy.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Loneliness

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Yes….copious amounts. Usually after work.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I went home. I felt awful. Or he went home and I would curl up in bed, feel awful and hide from the world. I hated being the go-to girl. But liked the sex. I have no hopes for any of them. I never want to see them. I feel indifferent but would relish never seeing them again.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friends. I always disguised it as relationships.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes and yes

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? Yes…..I would have liked more meaningful relationships

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? The sex was best. The feeling after was worst.

I think if I could go back in time I never would have done it.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? Don’t do it, kids!

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