What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 30
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Bern, Switzerland
Highest education received: Some college (not currently in college)
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Heteroromantic and bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 43
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Walk And Bang
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? Fuck-buddies / Booty call
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He had a hard face, lots of tattoos, and was ripped, though he didn’t train his legs that much and had a soft stomach. He had dark blonde hair, blueish eyes, and sensuous, thin lips. He was very present, took up more room than other people. He was eloquent, interested, and very respectful, and also 10 years older than me.
I met him through an online hook-up platform, and I asked him to meet me spontaneously on a Thursday evening, around 9 pm. Before the meetup, we had texted and he made me laugh a lot, so I was extremely nervous and very much looking forward to meeting him. I didn’t know him at all, but there was such amazing online chemistry with him that I felt very good about it.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We met at a tram station in Bern, very spontaneously, and I was the one to text him to finally meet. There was absolutely no planning involved, which made it even better. I had spent the evening at a friend’s place and she talked me into making this date happen. So I drank a shot (for courage), texted him, and then actually met him! We went for a really long walk, had a drink at a restaurant, and just laughed and had an amazing time.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? At some point during the walk, he had just given me a compliment, and I turned to him and kissed him. That took him by surprise, but he was into it within seconds. He was rabbing my hips to pull me closer, and we were laughing whenever we broke our kiss to come up for air. The only open question was if I’d go home or go home with him. But it was really no question; I went home with him. It took us all of 1 minute after walking through his door to put on the condom. He noticed that I liked it, when he pinched my nipples. He also noticed that I like hard sex, so he started slapping my ass and fucked my mouth really hard. He choked me a little, which turned me on like hell. When he finally fucked me vaginally, he put his hand on my back and pushed me down, hard, while taking me doggy-style. Unapologetic, but always respecting my boundaries. He hurt me, but only as much as I could take. We fucked three times that night, which was not bad for a guy his age, and then we showered together. He kept bringing me to the brink of orgasm, only to deny it and fuck my mouth again. I loved the feeling of this dominant man, taking me whatever way he wanted, but alternating soft, sweet touches with his hard hands grabbing me cruelly. He was an amazing lover and made sure I was ok with all of this.
When we finished, because he was exhausted, we laughed, talked about how unbelievably compatible we were, how I loved it when he dominated me, and who we were in “real” life.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was a bit shocked to find out that I like pain in sex, but since I slept at his place I felt secure, because he made sure I was ok. He texted me during the day to ask how I was doing and then to give me tasks.
It was absolutely clear we would be fuckbuddies or maybe we would turn into a top/bottom BDSM, non-monogamous kind of relationship. I was never in love with him, but was totally in love with our sex life. He has a girlfriend now, so I am disappointed to not have sex with him anymore, but I hope they will break up at some point, so I can lose myself once again in the frenzy that is sex with him.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Fertility awareness (days counting, temperature), Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, To feel more desirable, I was feeling lonely, Submission / Relinquishing power, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked about it with my husband. He didn’t really mind, was happy I was happy, but was very disturbed by the BDSM-part of the hook-up. I told my friends and they were a bit wary because of the BDSM-stuff, but very happy I was having fun.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The passion! The immediacy, the urge to pleasure and be pleasured, this total in-the-moment-feeling. The laughing and having fun and the many many orgasms!
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The mouth-fucking was too hard. I had a sore throat for days after.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes! I now know, that pain, in the right amount, with the right person and in the right moment can be the most amazing turn-on. And I learned, that dates can be easy, and that there is no need to worry myself in advance.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex, for a women, is still regarded at this totally inappropriate thing. If I sleep with many men I am a slut. I can’t even be honest about this with a potential boyfriend, but if a guy lands many girls, he is a hero. This duplicity has always made me hold back, but no more. It is nobody’s business how many guys or girls I fuck. This whole thing has made me deny my bisexuality for so long, and now, through casual sex, I have figured out, that girls are just as sexy as guys, and that is ok.
I wish, that our society would lose the shame associated with sex. I wish we could live in a world where non-hetero-normative and non-monogamous relationships are accepted and not immediately judged.
Sex plays such an important role, we should be open about it. Also about it not having a special place in our life. Or if it actually is one of the most important things right now.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Love it!
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!