She is Intimidating

by Dutch

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 70
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Retired
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Wiccan / Pagan
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

She is Intimidating

How long ago did this hookup happen? 2 Yrs.

What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)

How would you best classify this hookup? Group sex

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? My wife and a friend we had met on an online dating site. We were at the time, me, 68, her, 66, and him, 48?
My wife is 5′ 6″ tall, and slender weighing about 110 lbs. Blue eyes, light brown hair and 36D breasts after implants.
I am 6′ 0″ tall, blue eyes, blond hair, and a little overweight
He was about 5′ 11″ a well-built man with blue eyes and sandy blond hair.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We had been in the swinging lifestyle for a few years and had swapped with other couples, but my with can be very forward and intimidating, so none of her partners could get an erection.
We tried hookups with single guys and found out that if we both, him and I, placed her between us and made out with her, undressed her and got her excited, then I’d sit back and watch the two of them have sex together. She enjoyed this, and I enjoyed it knowing that she enjoyed it.
Fast forward to today, this was her fifth man and as time went on she seemed more and more apprehensive with each encounter even though I encouraged her and reassured her I was OK with encounters like this.
This was our second time with him. We had met him at an online dating site, and because we like to host at our home, we always screen carefully and then have an actual face to face meet up at a safe place such as a restaurant.
Our first face to face meet up went well, and she liked him very much. He wanted to hook up that day, but we always go back home and talk it over first. We got back with him and invited him to our home and had a three-way warm-up session, and then I let the two of them alone to have sex while I fixed lunch. The wife was happy with him, so we invited him back a few weeks later for a second hookup. This was the first time in the five guys that we had hooked up with that there was a second hookup.
The second meet up went similar to the first, she sat between us, we both warmed her up, undressed her, then I let the two of them alone to have sex, only this time, she let herself go more and had two orgasms with him and she was frightened because she began to have attachment issues.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He spent a long time involving foreplay with her much as I do. This appealed to her as none of the other guys she had been within our swinging experiences had done this with her. This caused her to orgasm twice with him.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We talked and she decided she didn’t want to swing anymore because she had attachment issues with him because of her orgasms.

I think she feels some guilt because I’m not interested in having sex with other women and she has had sex with five other guys.

I found out early on when we started in the swinging lifestyle that I got the most satisfaction from giving women partners satisfaction by long foreplay and oral orgasms without expecting any reciprocity on their part, ie. no fellatio, or intercourse. Women would have attachment issues with me and one even showed up on our doorstep one day. I’m quite happy seeing my wife enjoy sex with other men, but I think she harbors guilt.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? The wife and I talked. Because she orgasmed twice with him, she was feeling attached, so she decided to end the relationship with him. We found out later that he had been deceitful with us.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? That he was deceitful and it did not continue. My wife enjoyed him immensely. If he had not been deceitful, and my wife could have worked through her attachment issues, I think this could have been a long-term affair. (It’s really hard work finding sexual partners. Maybe look toathe poly community)

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? My wife enjoyed the sex with this person. He was a great lover.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? We found out later he had been deceitful regarding his relationship. He was married and was going through a divorce.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? We need to try to figure out a better screening process if we engage in casual sex in the future. We both agree that we don’t want to engage with people that are being deceitful in their relationship status.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I am a firm believer that casual sex/sex outside of marriage is OK as long as both partners communicate, and have long deep discussions concerning their true feelings.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I like the opportunity to read, and read my, and other peoples experiences.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!