Threesome Feels

by John Devereux

Race/ethnicity: Caucasian/White
Location: Washington, DC
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
Occupation: Student
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? Somewhat
Sexual orientation: Gay
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Threesome Feels

How long ago did this hookup happen? Fall 2013

How would you best classify this hookup? Friends-with-benefits

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? The first time I had a threesome AND hooked up, it was with two guys (a couple) I met off of Grindr. I had been talking to them for a little over a year, and got to know them. Both were white. One was tall, skinny, blond hair. The other was about my height, dark hair, average yet fit build. Both of them were extremely nice and it was obvious they liked each other a lot. Before the hookup, I felt like they were good guys.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The first one (with the couple) began over a conversation I was having with one of the guys. He asked if I was interested in messing around with him and his boyfriend. I said I was, but I didn’t want to rush things. But other than that, there were some conversations that hinted at fooling around, but I was unsure of myself at the time.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? For the first one, we actually eased into it just by playing Call of Duty, getting to deal with any awkward feelings. Then one of the guys started kissing me, and we moved into the bedroom. We just exchanged oral, with me just trying to please the both of them. They made me feel really good, and I did orgasm. Both of them did orgasm. They asked me how my first threesome was, and honestly, I didn’t feel great. It wasn’t on a physical level, but rather on a mental/emotional level. I had never hooked up before this, and I didn’t like it. Of course I told them I had fun, which I did, but I didn’t feel all that great after the fact. We hung out for a few more minutes before I said I had to do homework and they took me back to my place. We met up one other time, and I was stressed out from finals and they decided we would just masturbate and make out together. I still felt strange afterwards.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We did briefly discuss our sexual health, but they assured me that they wore condoms when they hooked up with other guys together. All of us were clean and there was not much to worry about.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? Honestly, I had broken up with my then-boyfriend a couple weeks earlier. He had cheated on me, and I was alone and horny. I honestly would not recommend having sex for a while after you breakup with someone, because it fucks with you. It certainly fucked with me.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? Nope, no alcohol or drugs whatsoever.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? Again, I felt physically pleased, but on a mental/emotional level, I felt bad. I can’t really explain it. It wasn’t that I had feelings for my ex, because I didn’t, but it certainly had something to do with hooking up, doing something even remotely sexual outside of a relationship.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I only told my closest friends. And I shit you not, the first thing they do is high five me. I honestly thought they’d treat me a bit oddly, but they were congratulating me, because they apparently could never see me doing something like that.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? All of this was consensual for both parties.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I am not sure. Maybe with a little more time I might have a better idea about my feelings about it.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Honestly, the best thing about this hookup was how big their dicks were. I had a lot of fun with that, that, and watching them cum because of what I’d be doing. That was such a big boost to my self-esteem, especially after what I went through. The worst thing was just that feeling I had in the back of my head that this was wrong in some way. I don’t know why, but that’s what happened.

For one thing, this hookup made me more confident in my own abilities (I mean, hello, I brought TWO guys to orgasm with just my mouth and hands!), and it made me feel more confident in trying things out with other guys. I did hookup a few other times, but so far, I still try to keep sexual actions limited to guys I’m dating. I think though that this hookup did positively change my views on casual sex and sexuality. For the longest time, I was told it was wrong by society, by family, etc. Now, it is no big deal. So what if some people sleep with 10 or 20 guys/girls. Whatever, good for them! As long as it is safe and consensual for everyone involved, who am I to judge?

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I feel like hooking up in the LGBT community, particularly the gay community, has been given negative stigmas by society. I’ve heard multiple times that “Gays are going to give each other HIV/AIDS because they’re so promiscuous.” In reality, it has less to do with promiscuity than it does with being safe. And I think society needs to focus on that message.

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