After Party Hookup

by Lilith

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Balkans
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? social science
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? /
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 1

After Party Hookup

How long ago did this hookup happen? seven day ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I joined one friend and her two friends in the club. It was after long work day and concert. I was very casual, without makeup in the club full of dressed up people. I do not like and listen that kind of music, but I wanted to dance, so I decided just to dance and have fun. After few hours, one of the girl that was with us said that her husband and some of his friends will join us. They joined us, and we started to flirt. He was my height, dark guy, beard, he looks like some of my ex partners. I was attracted to his looks.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? He started flirting, and asked what are his chances to kiss me. We kissed for a while in the club, and then he asked me to go to his place. He was living near the club and near me. I was thinking about it, since he was clearly wasted and we were tired, and I had to wake up early in the morning, and all of it did not add up to equal good sex. Eventually, I decided to give a try, since I was really horny. we left the club and went to his place.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went to his places, he was living alone. We started making out when we closed the door, soon we were naked, I pulled out condoms and we started fucking missionary. After few minutes, condom slipped, I guess it was hard for him to stay erected. We were making out, he fingered me a bit, then I blow him. I noticed that I am getting really sleepy, and I can not stay at his place since I had to wake up early, and I will not reach orgasm, so I called it over. He asked me to stay few more minutes, so he can finish on my breasts. I agreed, so he did it. We exchanged numbers and I went home.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt happy after it. I was happy because I verified that I do know what kind of conditions I need for sex: enough time, not being wasted, and asserting my pleasure. We didn`t talk after that. I excepted that he will not call, since he was really wasted, and I am not sure if he will remember anything. But, I did hope a little bit, that he will call, it will be nice to have buddy 5 minutes from home. I decided not to contact him, because I am not that super interested in him. It was fun night and that is all.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Completely wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Girls that were there know that we left together, so it is clear something happen, but I didn`t talk about details with them. My best friends know, and they are ok with it. Girls were amazed that we hooked up so quickly.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Realizing that I can protect myself by seeing things as they are- two horny people satisfying each others needs. Realizing that I know what it takes me to have pleasure that I want. In short, having control over my experiences

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not having enough time and energy to have pleasurable sex

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It showed me that I like and need casual sex,that sexuality is part of my needs and that you should know yourself in order to get pleasure.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I was surprised that girls asked me if I am going to contact him with aim to have relationship with him. It was like sex should be hook for relationship. I don`t get that part, some meeting are just in the moment exchange.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I love casual sex. I think we need to affirm more casual relations in general. It is same as when you go to concert with someone you know from work, because you are the only ones that like it – casual friends. And you have friends that are very close to you.I would like the see narrative where is fine to have and assert only your sexual needs. You just have to realize that sex is not sth you give to get relationship.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I love it. Scientific proof that casual sex won`t damage you:)

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!