What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? Mixed / Multiracial
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Chicago
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Teacher
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0


How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 year

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I got dragged to a fancy party by a friend and I spoke to this woman (about my age) for less than ten minutes. She was well-educated, short, cute. Mutual attraction was immediately clear through body language. She left the party and I got her number from a friend later.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I texted her shortly after meeting. We arranged to take a bike ride around the city, which we did about a week later. Humor of a sexual nature was exchanged during the ride, during which time I had already come to realize that she made me kind of uncomfortable. Unpredictable behaviors in public and a guarded attitude toward questions about her family/friends put me ill at ease. I couldn’t figure out if she was an adorably eccentric Manic Pixie Dream Girl or just a bad match for me. A chance encounter with her dentist that turned bizarre sealed the deal that I would not be asking her on a second date. But she clearly wanted to hook up, so by inertia I accepted her invitation to her apartment.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We drank a beer each. She told me that intercourse was out of the question, so we traded oral sex and she instructed me to titty fuck her, which she performed with expert skill. She continued to say things that I thought were bizarre (“You have a glorious cock.”) She then said that she wanted to come too, and I suggested that I watch while she masturbated. This she also performed adeptly, bringing herself to what looked like a real earthquake of an orgasm. It was a hot day, and we were both tingling with post-orgasm/dehydration tremors, so we hopped in the shower and fingered/jacked off each other there.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I made up an excuse to leave after the shower, which felt a bit icky because she seemed interested in continuing to hang out. She also texted me a few days later to say how much fun she had. I just responded that I had a good time but offered no further plans. I have no regrets about this experience and in fact have drawn much sexual wisdom from it. I will no longer fuck people without seeing them orgasm like she did. Just seeing that such an orgasm was possible for women was eye-opening.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, To feel more confident, Didn’t want to disappoint my partner

How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told my roommates and many of my friends. They laughed and pontificated about the nature of the experience.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I learned a lot about female orgasms and the pleasures of fucking someone who knows what they want. It improved my game more than any other hookup.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Having to slink out afterwards while trying not to hurt her feelings.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it opened me up to the idea that casual sex can be a valuable learning experience, if not emotionally satisfying.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I often sense a power imbalance in casual sex (somebody wants emotional meaning and someone doesn’t). I wonder if this power imbalance and the confidence boost it engenders is actually part of the appeal though. I have no recommendations for the culture at large.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? So cool.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!