What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Wales
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Very
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Including this story: 2
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Anonymous Hook-Up At A Costume Party
How long ago did this hookup happen? 10 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? This happened while I was in my first year at the university. My boyfriend of 3 years is the only person I’ve ever had sex with. It had been three months since we were last together and I was in need of a good lay. He planned to drive up for a weekend visit and attend a dress-up party at a friend’s house. My girlfriends and I were going as Moulin Rouge girls and my BF would meet me there dressed at Darth Maul.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We arrived at the house. The music was loud and it was dark. The only light was from a black light & we had to apply neon paint to be seen. Then we and danced. I kept looking for my BF but no luck. We met some nice guys and they gave us some ecstasy and rum. I danced with the tall guy and his large muscular hands had slid up my skirt & rubbing my bare arse. I was feeling a buzz & I didn’t mind. We were on the dance floor kissing and petting when I noticed my BF arrive wearing his costume. I politely thanked the guy for the pills and drink and grabbed my BF and we found an empty room.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? He bent me over, pulled my thong to the side and I felt his penis poking my arse. He’s made attempts in the past but it’s never worked out. Tonight, I was relaxed, so glad to finally see him and in the mood for sex so I let him continue. He was able to get inside and he gave me a few pumps and I felt him unload in me. Within seconds he was spent and no longer hard. We left the room and went back to the party. I had another ecstasy with rum and we danced. The next thing I remember is waking up in my bed.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I woke up the next morning in a fog. I didn’t take my phone with me last night and I noticed a message from my boyfriend. His plans changed and wouldn’t be coming into town this weekend. He hoped I would have a good time at the party and would come in next weekend.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness
How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol, MDMA, ecstasy, molly
How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but didn’t give a ‘no’
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My girlfriends because they knew I took a guy, I thought at the time was my BF, to a room and had sex. I told them my BF had canceled and was coming in the next weekend and the guy I had sex with was not my BF. I had no idea who he was. They promised to never tell but they were cool with me having sex with a random guy. They did scold me for having unprotected sex. My girlfriends helped me home that night too.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I should have been in control of my situation at the time better. I wanted to surprise my BF and with no words, take him to a private room & let him enjoy himself as a reward for being faithful while I was away. Instead, I was tipsy, lead a stranger into a bedroom and let him have sex in my arse with no protection. I should have handled the situation better.
I don’t fault the guy I had sex with at all. I was still in control to know what was going on. I thought he was someone else but I led him on. I approached and grabbed his hand. I pulled him into the vacant room and shut the door.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I can say I’ve had sex with more than one guy in my lifetime.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Cheating on my boyfriend. Allowing a random guy to have unprotected anal sex with me.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Sex is fun and with the right person, it makes the body feel pleasure. I often wish I had been more open to experience other people before I settled down. I’ve only been with my boyfriend (now current husband), and a random guy. I wish I could have experienced more casual sex like all my friends did.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? After this experience, I’ve been more open to allowing my boyfriend/husband have anal sex with me. He’d try before but it was awkward for me. Since I allowed a random guy to have anal sex with me, I feel obligated to let him have anal anytime he wishes. I’ve become accustomed to it now and enjoy it.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s a good place to share a story whether it’s a good story or not so good story. Maybe someone else can relate to a past mistake but realize it’s OK.
You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!