What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 25
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Educator
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 15ish
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Awkward Night Followed by Awkward Texting the Next Day
How long ago did this hookup happen? 5 years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He had dark hair and was medium height. I didn’t know him at all. I was at a party, and we talked for maybe 20 minutes and then decided to leave. I thought he was ok, nothing special, but my friends that I had come to the party with had left with others and I was just bored at that point.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? We were talking at the party and then we decided to leave and go to my place. There was a kiss or two shared at the party before we left. He was very flirtacious and I flirted back, it all happened very quickly. There was no planning involved, but we kissed a few times and I asked him to come back to my place.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went back to my place and were undressed and in bed relatively quickly. There was nothing super kinky, just run-of-the-mill missionary sex. As we had both been drinking, it was sloppy and over very quickly. We were kissing a lot throughout, but there was no real passion there. I don’t remember talking about anything. Once we had finished, he asked if he could stay the night, but I said I was actually hungry and wanted to get some food and that he should leave and go home. We both dressed and I called my friend (who had left the party with someone else), and I met up with him for a burger.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day I woke up to a text from the guy to let me know he was golfing for the day. I was kind of annoyed, I didn’t really find him interesting or memorable and I didn’t remember giving him my number, I wanted this to be a one and done situation. I texted him later in the day to let him know I had a massage and then threw up after. He asked if I wanted him to come over and “make me feel better” and I never texted back- I wasn’t really interested in seeing him again. I didn’t regret it the next day, but I definitely didn’t want to run into him anywhere. I feel indifferent towards him now- it was what I wanted one night, but I would not be interested in anything more. I don’t remember his name now, but that was my one and only one night stand.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal, Birth control pill / patch / ring / injection / implant
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Intoxication, I was feeling lonely, Boredom, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friend who I got food with after. Random hookups were not anything out of the ordinary, so we pretty much breezed over it and talked about other stuff (upcoming events, friends, etc.)
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? That I accomplished my goal.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That he texted me the next day.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No, it wan’t anything monumental
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think it’s just part of the culture now. I think it has become very normalized and therefore people don’t really think much of it. The problem is that I feel that the STD prevention/condom movement hasn’t taken a hold in the same way. I have never talked with partners about whether they have STDs, and I have RARELY ever insisted that a condom be used, even when I didn’t know the other person well or when I knew that they were having causal sex with other people. That’s a big problem, in my opinion. My current relationship began with a night of casual sex with someone that I was extremely interested in, friends with, and we had both been actively pursing each other for months. It was a completely organic start for us, and after that first night I began coming over more and more and eventually had moved in. I am not ashamed of our beginnings at all, I think it would be strange to start a relationship by “dating” because that’s just not what happened with me or most of my friends. We hooked up with someone we were interested in, and then developed from there. I think if it were “back in the day” then I might feel a little shameful about it. I really like the open culture we have now. I like that as a woman I did what I wanted to and hooked up with who I wanted to, when I wanted to.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s interesting. It was actually fun to dig up this old memory and type it out anonymously. It was an interesting memory to revisit, something I truly haven’t thought about in years. I think it’s also interesting that it is helping to normalize a culture that many young people know about and are actively involved in, but may still feel shy about talking about.
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