What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 21
Bad Hook Up
What was your relationship status at the time? Dating casually
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? African American, slim, muscular build (six pack) very well done tattoos all over chest/arms, sculpted facial features, 6/6’1, in the military. Met online, didn’t know them at all, before the hook up I thought they seemed very attractive, put together and like they had potential.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It began at their house they were staying at. They invited me for some Netflix and chill. After getting there I realized this person smelled like sweat, I get that it was the middle of the summer but they had put no effort in to even try to smell good it seemed such as spray on some cologne quickly. This was a major turnoff and also in person, they seemed less attractive. They looked like their pictures but it was like they knew how to finesse the camera. It was so obvious this person wanted nothing more than sex but couldn’t even try to put cologne on for that as if we had already known each other for ages.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went upstairs after he realized we weren’t going to end up watching anything and we just got on with it I think. I wasn’t really interested at this point but I was consenting, unbothered, and felt the easiest way out was through. We just had missionary sex I believe and his dick was huge but not in a good way –it was too big. It was like something you hear about in fantasies or something. He behaved very priminally, as all he wanted was to proceed with the act. He did do some foreplay eating me out but it wasn’t very good-I’m not really one who gets pleasure from sexual encounters more than just feeling high from the experience/attraction but the whole environment and his mannerisms were a turnoff so I didn’t even get that. When he went to put it in he didn’t use a condom and I didn’t bother to speak up because I was too naive and shy. It felt like how Snooki described hooking up with Vinny on jersey shore like a watermelon going into a pinhole. Except it didn’t feel good, it was like too big for my liking to be pleasurable. He seemed to really enjoy it. It ended when he came.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He was talking very friendly as if we had done this in the past or something and were friends, and would continue to do this often. He wanted me to stay the night and he made a joke about having to get dressed because it felt weird air blowing against him down there and laughed and put on shorts. He asked me if I came and I said yeah just to appease him and he said, “Ok good!” laughing friendly. I had to buy plan b afterwards, he told me he was sterile but even if that was true I didn’t feel comfortable with it. Luckily it did not result in any diseases. I wanted to leave as smoothly and as quickly as possible that night and did not want to see them again. Now I feel neutral but kind of disgusted that he didn’t want to use a condom to protect himself at least agains disease.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told a friend a while afterward, they agreed it was a bit disgusting.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively negative
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I don’t regret it per se as no harm seemed to have come from it, but if I had to do it again I would not do so.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It taught me to be more selective and to speak up to a partner in the future.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The behavior of the guy and appearance how he didn’t bother to impress me was a major turn off. Even if it ‘s just sex at least keep it sexy at the very least.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it made me rethink it and be more selective. It made me realize I was more of a person who wanted to at least go on a date first with the person and see them try to impress me while I do the same toward them.
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? What seemed strange was he seemed like from looks and popularity he would be a lot of people’s dream hook up because he was very well endowed (if a bit too much for me), worked out, and seemed to be interested in if a woman came or not. That said he had a lot of things that I feel would turn others off too–not using protection even if he doesn’t know the person, and also having to ask if they came when I was dead silent during the whole sexual encounter.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think it is to each their own and can be very beneficial if you are open to it and choose to partake in it. I feel society has become pretty accepting of it. People will always have their personal views but looking at the media it seems society as a whole accepts it a lot more than before.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It seems helpful and beneficial to many people for many reasons.
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