Bad Sex

by Gene

Gender: Female
Age: 41
Race/ethnicity: Mixed
Current location: San Fransisco
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Company Vice President
Relationship status: Seeing Someone maybe seriously
Religious affiliation: Lapsed Catholic
How religious are you? A little
Sexual orientation: Pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 50+
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Bad Sex

How long ago did this hookup happen? Three Years

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One Night Stand

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was a handsome African American man, tall and muscular with a few tattoos, he was in his late twenties making him about ten years younger than I was then.  He came up to me at a bar, bought me a few drinks and flirted with me a bit.  I found him attractive when we first met.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? This was about a year after my last divorce, an interesting time for me in my life.  Sexually I had been enjoying my freedom and had been with several different partners.  However at this point I hadn’t had sex in about two months, so I was a bit horny.  Now I had just struck out with a woman I had been working on for a few weeks, she said I was too old for her and this was the first time I had ever heard that.  Generally I am considered quite attractive and usually have my pick of partners men or women.
Now I have found it is generally easier for me to pick up men and I am ok with when a man comes up to me.  He came up and offered to buy me a drink and we moved to a table.  We chatted a bit, flirted a little and he asked if I wanted to go back to his place

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We went into his bedroom and started making out.  He undressed me, sat me down on the bed and took his own clothes off.  We made out naked for a bit and he looked really good without clothes on and had a large cock.  He played with my breasts a bit but soon lost interested.  He penetrated me which initially felt really good but mostly it was just him on top of me grunting for a few minutes.  After he came he quickly climbed off me and fell asleep.  I laid there for a little bit before quietly pulling my clothes on and sneaking out of there.  His roommate said I was hardly the first woman to leave disappointed and he offered to call me a cab and I went home and it wasn’t even midnight

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? He did I did not

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condoms but didn’t discuss protection beyond that

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I was horny and buzzed

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? A few drinks each, I would say we were both buzzed but not drunk

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He texted me a few times but I always made up an excuse not to see him.  It had been the first time with him and I wasn’t expecting much but it was not a good experience and I had no desire to see him again.  I did however go on to take the roommate as a lover for a few months until he moved away, and the sex with him was pretty good so I can’t say this was a completely negative experience.

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Beyond his roommate I never discussed this hookup with anyone

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? Yes for us both

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I do regret it, I should have been a little bit pickier that night and not gone home with the first person who bought me a drink

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Beyond meeting his roommate I wouldn’t say there was a good part because for me the sex was so bad.  I do have a few observations, while at that and this point at my life I don’t care that much about the gender of my partners I was starting to prefer them younger and younger than me.  Looking back all my partners since my divorce have been at least five to ten years younger than me (my current lover is 23).  Reading these posts I think I read one that said sex can be a very deep, emotional act between lovers or a very fun and enjoyable exercise.  I have found when i have sex regularly I am more focused and relax.  Beyond that, I am not sure this changed anything about how I feel about casual sex or anything else.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I was just recently told about this site, and spend the other afternoon reading posts.  I thought this might be an interesting one to start.

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