What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 72
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Seattle/USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Computer Programmer
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Bisexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 60?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? Two years ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Caucasian, in his 60’s, maybe 5’10”, slightly overweight – I would guess 220 lbs.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Although I have always known I had an interest in men I did nothing about it until my late 60’s. I hooked up a few times through Craig’s List, just oral. Somehow I heard about SilverDaddies, and started spending time on it, chatting. One guy I met there mentioned that he sometimes went to a gay bathhouse, which as it happens is maybe 10 blocks from where I live. He said he would take me, so one day between Christmas and New Year we hooked up at a coffee shop nearby, and went to the bathhouse, the first time I had been anywhere like that.
Since it was a holiday time the place was fairly busy. It was very dimly lit. I undressed and wandered around, sometimes with my friend, sometimes alone. There is a big maze like steam room. I went in; it was hot, very dimly lit, and of course very misty. When my eyes accommodate to the low level of light I made a black guy fucking a white man, only 2 or 3 feet from me. It was rather surreal – with the mist and the noise of the steam machine.
As I wandered around the steam room guys would grope me, kiss me, and had some mutual oral with several men, all complete strangers.
It was too hot to stay in for long, so I went to a lunge area to cool down. When I got there were 6or 7 guys in a dog-pile, stroking and sucking. I got involved and joined in for maybe 15 minutes. But its exhausting, so I went and sat on a kind of bench, watching and relaxing. After a few minutes someone sat beside me, started stroking my leg, fondling my penis, kissed me. I of course reciprocated. Then he asked me if I wanted to be fucked. I was an anal virgin, and had wondered what it was like for a long time. Initially I said no, but because of all the noise he didn’t hear me, and asked again. This time I thought ‘why not?’, and said ok.
He had rented a room. He said he needed to buy some lube, and that he would be back. I sat there for maybe five minutes, with very mixed feelings – excitement, but also ‘what the fuck have I let myself in for’.
Anyway after about five minutes he returned, and said lets go.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? The ‘room’ he had rented was more like a sleeping car on a train or a very small ship’s cabin. About a full size bed, TV showing porn, small closet for personal things. We went in and started making out – kissing, oral. His cock was very hard after a few minutes.
He said he wanted to fuck me, lubed up my ass and stuck some fingers in. We lay on the bed, and he tried to fuck me with me on my back and legs in the air. But I was very tight (my first time), and he couldn’t get his cock in.
We tried a few other positions, with no more success. Finally he asked me to lie face down and he lay on top. This time he was able to penetrate me. It hurt quite a lot, but also was very exciting. He fucked me quite gently (no condom) for between 5 or 10 minutes, then picked up the pace and came inside me. He lay on top of me for a few minutes as his erection went away, pulled out.
We lay together. I masturbated, then we chatted together for 10 or 15 minutes. WE worked in the same general industry, both holding relatively senior positions, so turned out we knew people in common. Then he had to leave – we exchanged emails. I wandered around the bathhouse, found my friend. Then showered and left.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I was happy to have experienced anal sex. Next day I had absolutely no regrets, although maybe some slight anxiety about STD’s, since we had used no protection. He was married and a professional, so I felt he was probably more careful that the average guy at the bathhouse.
We had made vague plans to maybe hook up again, and we did exchange emails. But nothing came of it. I had intended it to be casual anonymous sex, and that is exactly what it was.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to the friend I went with. He is something of a voyeur, and good naturedly complained because he didn’t get to watch.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? It was one of those watershed moments. – something I had been curious about for many years, finally achieved.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? It was painful, not terribly.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I had always been intellectually in favor of casual sex – a way for two people to have a pleasant time together, without any kind of emotional entanglement. Really akin to having a good dinner with congenial company. Just something mutually enjoyable. This conformed that view.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? While I respect people’s personal desires, I feel sad that so many are trapped by societal expectations – as I was for much of my life. I have had a lot of casual male/male sex since that day, most of it very positive.
I just hope we can get to a stage where having casual sex is regarded as a perfectly normal and reasonable thing to do.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Everything that promotes a sex positive attitude is great. I hope this project helps some people to just go out and enjoy sex for its own sake.
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