Cheating

by Mr M

What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Brighton
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Waiter
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 20 to perhaps 23, around tha number.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? this is my first

Cheating

How long ago did this hookup happen? around two years ago

What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? She was a friend of a friend that I met at a party, I remember that she had black hair with brown eyes. She was quite good looking, although not what you would call beautiful. I remember she had a very nice bum, I remember because bums really do seem to be where the battle is won or lost as to weather I find someone attractive, she had a very attractive bum. I had very little preconceived notion of her before the hook up, we had not spoken much except in passing.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I remember at one point we got talking and we were standing very close to each other in that way you do when your drunk and your horny and feeling a little confident. At some point we were hiding outside in the carpark making out. I remember squeezing her bum underneath her skirt and becoming becoming very hard. She invited me back to hers quite soon after this.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I felt very ashamed of myself as I knew what a horrible thing I was doing, which made me exponentially more aroused. She said she knew I had a girlfriend and that’s why she wanted to sleep with me. I remember the shame I felt and I remember how much I wanted to fuck her. The sex was very aggressive, more so than I’m used to. I remember her biting me rather violently, I remember liking this. We screwed doggystyle for a long time because I loved looking at her ass, she wanted me to spank her, I had never done anything like this, I remember spanking her tentatively and then realising how much we both enjoyed it, I spanked her progressively harder, I eventually ended by ejaculating over her back and bum in a sort of frenzy of spanking and biting. The shame I felt was palpable as she lay, covered in my sperm with my red hand marked on her ass- it was at this point, the best orgasm I had ever had.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I remember feeling such shame I left her home as soon as I could, I also felt quite bad because I was sure my partner felt very used and hurt at my quick exit. I had not preconceived expectations and after hoped I would never see her again. I have no emotional ties or feeling for this person now.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Withdrawal

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, I was feeling lonely, Power / Dominance, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked to no one about it in an effort to bury it in my mind.

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Very

Do you regret this hookup? Very much

Why do you regret this hookup? I regret it because for a long time after the fact I defined myself as the terrible person I was on that night. I remember getting home and there being a valentines day card awaiting me from my girlfriend reading “best boyfriend in the world” with a picture of a dinosaur on it, a dinosaur because our “child” was a stuffed dinosaur.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? The intense orgasm.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The essentially complete destruction of my self esteem and worth for at least a year.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes, it took me a long time to reconcile with the fact that I was a stupid kid, and in the time after it I have grown considerably because I have been afforded no choice in the matter, I done a terrible thing, but that’s not who I am. I’m still with my girlfriend, she has never known of what happened. I know a lot of people will read this and think me a manipulative and horrible person, I can only say that there is nothing anyone can think of me, that I have not thought of myself. It is in intense pain, that I think we learn of ourselves, and how we grow in the end. I can only try and be better.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? A little positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Very negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I have had a mixed relationship with casual sex, like many if not most I have used it to validate myself, often having sexual intercourse with people I am not attracted to, which I feel in insulting towards them and myself. As I’ve got a bit older though, I’ve enjoyed my casual sex experiences a lot more, I think its an essential human experience to enjoy sex with at least a few different partners in their lifetime.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s really great, some really interesting stories, and some truly touching ones (and quite a lot where I end of just getting quite horny!)

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!

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