Confessing Desire

by Crystal

What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 24
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
What’s your occupation? Unemployed
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

Confessing Desire

How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 week

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? “Scott” hand golden blonde hair with gorgeous blue eyes and slightly golden skin. He was shorter than most men I typically go for 5’7, but he’s a former D1 track runner and certainly has the body to go along with it. I knew of him and had seen him around the department/gym the past year. We would just smile and say hi to one another. I definitely felt attracted to him and felt like there was something between us based on non-verbals of our interactions. I knew he was in a relationship so I kept it at that.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? The hookup was at my apartment after a night of bar hopping. He formally introduced himself at the first bar while I was with my friends who he knows much better. He sat next to me and started talking while we were all drinking. We changed bars, but I went to another bar first. He saw me on the other side of the bar and smiled and waved to me to come over while he was talking to another girl. My friend told me that he and his long-distance girlfriend are on-and-off, were just about broken up. A lot of other girls were flirting/dancing with him, but we found our way back to each other throughout the night. We finally were alone and sharing a few drinks when he revealed that he had been watching me at the gym and on campus for quite some time and that I was really cute. I responded with something similar. I asked him if he wanted to come home with me just a few blocks away, to which he immediately said yes and closed the tab.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we got to my place, he turned some music and my fan on while I put on a defuser. He crawled on top of me once I sat on my bed and started kissing me. We were both fairly drunk, but you wouldn’t know from the kissing, it was amazing. His touch felt really good, we had a lot of silly/lighthearted moments. We both undressed and had lots of intense oral sex. He was suffering from whiskey dick and kept apologizing. He went down on me for like 20 minutes and wouldn’t stop until I came. He had a really nice dick, which I enjoyed giving oral. We fell asleep cuddling and woke up in the middle of the night. He rolled on top of me and we tried to have sex again, this time more successful, but he went soft changing positions. We pulled me in the shower and we made out a lot and bathed each other… unfortunately he started to get sick and threw up in the shower. He felt bad and wanly to leave so he didn’t disturb me, he kissed me goodbye and left.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? He left his watch at my place and came the next day to pick it up. I went to embrace him and he told me that what happened Friday night shouldn’t have happened, it’s a complicated situation and that he’s really sorry. I felt slightly rejected, but also guilty because it seems like he and his “girlfriend” might still be together. I’m glad he was honest but felt a bit empty/numb after he left the next day.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Friends

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat

Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Mutual attraction/feelings, great oral sex

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Whiskey dick, cheated on his girlfriend, threw up the morning after

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? I feel terrible that I hurt someone else with my actions and to be more cautious in the future/make sure someone is single/open relationship, etc. I really like the “idea” of casual sex, but in practice, it can be more complicated.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I’m fairly new to casual sex, I used to be totally against in a few years ago, but now I’m much more open to it as long as my partners are respectful. I would like people to be more respectful during and certainly after having casual sex with a partner.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? I think it’s unique/informative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!