What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 46
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Marion
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (currently pursuing)
What’s your occupation? Student, previously direct care and supports.
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Wiccan / Pagan
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Sapiosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Hypersexual, pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? I can’t remember
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
Cougar and Client
How long ago did this hookup happen? 6 mo.
What was your relationship status at the time? Engaged/Married (open)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than 6 months
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He was funny, Latino, and very well endowed (8 1/2 inches and thick), muscular, and had beautiful caramel colored skin. I was flattered that he was interested in being with me as he was 14 years younger than me. I met him through work at my first full-time MH job. He was a client where I worked, and though he wasn’t my client, it would still be considered fairly unethical. I barely knew him and had only spoken to him in passing at work.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I left that job, and within a week of it being known that I had resigned, he contacted me on Facebook to offer a one night stand, saying “freak knows freak”. He said he was hypersexual as well and was always looking for someone to spend time with. There was a lot of planning, we sexted daily we actually met again. He sent me several photos and a video telling me what he was going to do to me when I saw him. I had not been intimate with my husband for 7 years and I was really having problems controlling myself, masturbation just wasn’t cutting it. My hubby had finally given me permission to take care of my issue elsewhere since he was unable to perform. When the guy offered, it took a bit of convincing, but I eventually agreed because just the thought of fucking him made me so horny I could barely stand it. The guy told me several times that he could go for hours and we could fuck all night.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I asked him to take a shower and meet me at the door, wearing nothing but a towel and still wet. I came in and we kissed briefly, then I ran my hands all over his arms and torso. He went in for another kiss, but I turned his head to the side and licked his neck. I got undressed and told him to lay on the bed because the first thing I wanted to do was see if I could deep-throat him. I love giving oral, so this is just something I tend to start with. I had never been with someone so large before, but I was feeling pretty proud of myself for being able to deep-throat him. I wasn’t able to make him cum from oral, even though it lasted about 25 minutes. I finally told him I was too out of practice to be able to make him cum that way, and since we had talked about our favorite positions (doggy-style), we got onto the bed and went at it.
This part was more difficult to deal with. He knew I hadn’t had sex for years, but he “dove in” like he was trying to spear me with his cock. Then we moved to where he was standing beside the bed and he went at it for about 2 hours, with three 5-minute breaks so I could catch my breath. He was slamming my cervix so hard I could feel it in my stomach. He finally came and seemed ok with it. I actually bled from how rough it was, and when he asked if I had finished, I told him I had so he wouldn’t attempt to continue.
This next part is what I really enjoyed. We sat and talked for about 3 hours afterward about all sorts of things, what kind of music we liked, his childhood, what each of his tattoos meant, etc. He asked why I had left work, and we talked about that briefly. He talked about how he felt when he realized I was “like that’, and how excited he was about it. I asked him if I was the oldest woman that he had been with, and he said I was, but that he had no problems with it. We haven’t had sex again, but we still talk from time to time about regular stuff. He tried to get me to stay the night, but I hadn’t planned to do that, so I would have no good way to explain to my husband why I was suddenly staying out overnight when I had said that I was going to have dinner with a previous co-worker. I was gone for about 7 hours as it was (long drive), so I had to explain why I was so late and why I was so sore from having dinner. Less than a week later, he asked his doc to prescribe viagra so he could try it out. He had been afraid to try it before, so the sudden interest was odd. It doesn’t work for him.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The next day I was amazingly sore, but feeling really wonderful. Even though I hadn’t cum, I was ok with it overall. I kind of hoped we’d get together again, and still do, but he had made it a point to say he didn’t want a relationship and that it was just one night. I still find him very attractive, and we do talk from time to time on FB. We can’t be friends on FB to avoid other clients or co-workers from my job finding out, and we never post on each other’s timelines, though when we talk he likes to joke about the things I post so I know he’s still watching me, and I’m still watching him. So, maybe someday.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Discussed STI testing history, I’m infertile and can’t have children.
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more, To feel better about myself, To feel more desirable, To feel more confident, To cheer myself up, I was feeling lonely, It was easy / convenient
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I told three of my closest friends that I had had sex with someone else, but not his name or what he looked like. One was particularly judgemental about it because she knows I tend to become obsessive. (She was right of course.) The other two were more supportive.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Somewhat
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? A little bit
Why do you regret this hookup? I wished I had talked more about what I wanted to happen, and made it a point to stop him when it got too rough and slow things down so I could cum too.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Him and the conversation afterward.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? I bled and ended up really sore.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Somewhat, because know I actually feel more desirable and am proud to know I can get a hot guy.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I don’t see a problem with it as long as you aren’t hurting yourself, The role it’s played in my life has made me somewhat more adventurous and experimental. I’d like to see less stigma attached to women when it comes to casual sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Very interesting!
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