Cruising for Sex



What’s your gender? Man
How old are you? 55
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Graphic Designer
What’s your current relationship status? In a relationship but not sexual
How religious are you? Not at all
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? Queer
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? Over 500
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

Cruising for Sex

How long ago did this hookup happen? One week ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? Cruising for anonymous sex

How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Three “partners”: All male. One Latino; one Asian; one White.
Did not know any of them before.
Met each of them in a park that’s known for cruising for sex.
Had no feelings about them before the hookup as I didn’t know them.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Hookup began while cruising specifically for sex. Began by “checking each other out” and with me “freeballing” (i.e. not wearing underwear while wearing loose fitting gym shorts to show my penis off. There was no planning involved (other than consciously freeballing on my part). Instigation was mutual in all three encounters.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? First hook up (Latino): showing off and mutual masturbation. Felt great as I enjoy exhibitionism, voyeurism, and masturbation. Partner’s behavior the same/mutual. Talk was only “dirty” talk. Ended with him cuming and me not wanting to cum.
Second hookup (White): same as above to the letter
Third hookup (Asian) same as above except: he gave me oral while masturbating himself; turned around and asked me to rub my penis between his butt cheeks and “tease my hole”, which I did along with me masturbating him from behind. Ended with him cuming quite heavy and then turning around to watch me masturbate and cum.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After the first two hookups, I simply walked on and kept cruising. As for the last hookup, I wiped up and cleaned myself with a tissue and went home. The next day I felt fine as I enjoy this type of sex. I have no expectations for the future with any of these three guys–but it would be nice to run into the Asian again as I am particularly attracted to Asians (but have no expectations of running into him again).

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), To feel more desirable

How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Talked to a “fuck buddy”. Their reaction was positive and it turned them on.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? Somewhat sad/disappointed that my partner and I do not currently have sex.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Fulfilling my desire to be exhibitionistic and have others notice and desire me.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That I can’t / don’t tell my partner about this desire of mine and that being “intimate” with someone is difficult for me.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not at all.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I’ve always felt the need to explore casual sex and enjoy my desire for exhibitionism, voyeurism, and masturbation (the “triad” of my sexual preferences). I have had three long term relationships–one ending because partner didn’t “enjoy me”; one ending because partner moved; current is non-sexual as I’ve lost interest. Being “intimate” and sharing “love” is difficult for me.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is great. Enjoyable. I’ve been having a wonderful time with it. For 30+ years. Mostly cruising in public. Rarely hooking up online. I enjoy being able to express my “kinks” as it were with others into the same (whether they truly are or not). At times I fantasize about “being with somone” who’s into the same and we would do this together as our sexual outlet. But realize this is a fantasy. Which is to say, it would be nice to meet someone into the same and with whom I could also have a intimate sexual relationship with. The best of both worlds, I guess you could say.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? So far so good

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!