Dancin’ in Circles



What’s your gender? Genderqueer / Nonbinary
How old are you? 20
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Italy
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student.
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I am still questioning my sexual identity. I am confortable with calling myself genderqueer. I was born a female but I don’t fully feel like one. It’s like I am more. I am still trying to figure that out, I might come out as a trans man in some years, but I don’t know yet.
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 10?
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0

dancin’ in circles.

How long ago did this hookup happen? A month ago.

What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a month

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He is a trans man, we casually friended each other on Facebook this summer. We started talking about the Olypics, tv-shows and we found out we had a friend in common. He lives 3 hours away from me, so we kept talking a little bit everyday. I immediately thought that he was very handosome, and the fact that we had so much in common (me, still questioning my identity, and him, fully sure but stil pre-transition) made me feel really attracted to him. He told me that he wanted to see me, and we arranged a date. He would have come in my city and we would have spend the day together.
When I saw him my thoughts were confirmed, as he was as handsome as I thought (sometimes pictures can be tricky). We went to the Lunapark, had fun and. Then we went to a park, and stayied there for hours, talking about everything.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? It was about 1AM, and we would’ve spend the night out because I couldn’t let him sleep at my place, since my parents are very strict. We sat on a bench. I don’t even remember who began, but we started kissing and we barely stopped.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We had music on, because we were afraid of the people passing by us. We were completely in the dark, making out, and I was starting to feel aroused, as well as him. He asked me “what do you want me to do?” followed by “what do you like?” and I lost it. I would’ve liked him to finger me, even to go down on me, but we were in a park in the middle of the night, we were both cold and I wasn’t confortable enough to do it there. I still get shiver when I think about those moments. We kept kissing all night long, he gave me a lot of hickeys and so did I. I loved his neck, his skin, the way he tasted. In the morning he left with the first train. We were both tired for the lack of sleep, but we kissed one more time. Before getting on the train, he gave me a letter.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? No

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We are still talking today. He is moving in a house in another city because he is going to study there, so we are planning on finally seeing each other in a proper room. We are still flirting, but I don’t know if this is all I want from him. I might see him as a future partner, and this is quite new to me, since I only had a girlfriend and since then I didn’t commit to any serious relationship, only hook-ups not involving real feelings. Maybe for me came the time to think about a person as a whole, not only as someone to fuck. I don’t know his thoughts about me, we will have to talk about it.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) No penetrative sex happened

What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Hoping or expecting it would lead to something more

How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Very

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I talked about it with a bunch of close friends, they were not surprised at all. They all know about my sexual life (considering that I hooked-up with a lot of them too) so they didn’t really react. I told no one about my feelings towards him though, because I still have to figure out how to handle it by myself.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Having a connection with a boy just like me, getting to see him almost immediately and kissing him.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not being able to see him often and, of course, those new and unexpected feelings towards him.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? No, I won’t say so.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I would like to have my own place, so I could bring people there instead of almost-fucking in parks at night.

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think causal sex should be a choice, and as a choice it should not be criticized. We all have different tastes. If a thing is not for you, just don’t do it and let the others go on with what they feel good with. I have a lot of sex, usually with people I know, actually, almost with a lot of my friends. I like it, and the next day we all get along well. Of course, causal sex is seen in a bad light by most of people, but I am seeing, as a young adult, a change. I never feel pressured or judged because of what I do, only because I tell my friends about it, and we are all from the same generation. I am lucky from this point of view, I know.
Honestly, I would like people to understand that sex can happen without feelings, and that there is nothing wrong with that.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Just found out about it today and I love it. I am planning on writing all of my stories here.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!