What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 52
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? Canada
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your current relationship status? Dating casually
Religious affiliation: Agnostic
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Queer
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 11
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? none
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1 month ago
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a week
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Met him on Tinder 2 days before. Very minimal conversations. He was 15 years younger, somewhat cute. In his pictures his eyes were very blue.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I am currently in a very casual relationship with someone who had not been able to fulfill my requests for play time, and I was feeling sexually frustrated. I met the hookup for coffee around noon on a Sunday. I actually didn’t feel any attraction to him and found him to be uninteresting. He seemed unable to make eye contact. After about 45 minutes, he suggested we walk towards my place, which was fairly close. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to have sex with him, but when we got to my place I invited him up.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? When we got into my apartment he wanted to go straight into the bedroom, and he was surprised when I went to the living room. I still wasn’t sure about having sex with him, so I thought we would make out for a while and I could see how I felt. In the living room, he came straight in for a kiss. He was NOT a good kisser. He only kissed me for about a minute before turning me around and started fondling my breasts through my shirt, and rubbing himself behind me.
He took me into the bedroom and we lay down. I tried kissing him but he didn’t really want to. Instead, he just started rubbing my clit through my clothes. I asked if he liked going down and he moved down and took off my pants. He half-heartedly licked at my clit and fingered me. After a few minutes, he came back up and started masturbating me. Poorly. I told him to stop. He grabbed my hand and started pushing it down towards my crotch. I asked what he was doing and he said, “I want to see you make yourself come.” Meanwhile, he still refused to kiss, instead just watching me. Eventually, I faked an orgasm because I just wanted it to be over.
Then I began to rub his cock outside his pants. He immediately got up, took off his pants and underwear, and knelt next to my head, sticking his cock in my face. I gave him a bit of oral but didn’t really feel comfortable. I told him to lay down on his back, and I started to kiss him, but he just pushed my head down toward his cock. Then he said, “Get on your knees.” I asked him what exactly he meant. He wanted me to kneel on the floor and suck him off. I said I didn’t want to. I reached for a condom because I just wanted to fuck him and get it over with. As I was putting the condom on him he said, “I have my own” and got up, took off the condom I was putting on him, and replaced it with one of his own. He then asked if he could fuck me in the ass. I said “No.” So he fucked me from behind and was done in about 2-3 minutes.
So, not a good lover. A lousy kisser. And it seemed like he didn’t want to actually kiss or even look at me. I actually felt treated like a hooker rather than a hookup.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Not at all
Did you have an orgasm? No, not even close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I felt it was a waste of my time. I questioned why I even let it go as far as him seeing where I lived. I unmatched him 2 days later.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms, Discussed STI testing history
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, To feel more desirable, I was feeling lonely
How intoxicated were you? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How intoxicated was your partner? Not at all (no alcohol or drugs)
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I didn’t give a clear ‘yes’, but I didn’t give a ‘no’
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Very
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? A friend. She asked, “Why the hell did you fuck him?”
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Somewhat
Why do you regret this hookup? I was looking for a replacement for not getting what my casual lover was able to give me, but as I wasn’t even really attracted to the hookup, I shouldn’t have put myself at potential risk for disease or worse.
Also, the sex sucked.
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Nothing, other than realizing that hookups are not the best way to boost self-confidence.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Not stopping it earlier.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? A bit – more about figuring out how to handle sexual frustration.
I realized how much I enjoy humor and playfulness when having sex, and how important it is for me to find someone who makes me laugh before we get naked.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Not at all positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Fairly negative
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s interesting.
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