What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 29
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What’s your current relationship status? Engaged/Married (open)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
What’s your sexual orientation? Pansexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 9
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
End Of A Night Out In My Friend’s Uni Dorms
How long ago did this hookup happen? 9 years
What was your relationship status at the time? In a relationship (monogamous)
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For less than a year
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I met through a friend attending that university, he had visited our home town and I’d met him previously and quite liked him. So met a few times, drank together. Felt like we were good mates.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? There was no planning but I’d made a couple of hints where he’d got a bit flummoxed and I wasn’t sure if that was his inexperience (he’d only slept with one woman. Several of our mutual friends believed he was gay) or if he just wasn’t interested one way or the other.
My relationship had been abusive and volatile for a time and we slept in separate rooms, waiting to separate I suppose.
I decided on a last minute trip to go with my friend to her university before an event I’d arranged elsewhere. I’d been feeling very emotional and was unaware but also newly pregnant (found out after the hookup).
We went out drinking together after hanging out all day seeing the locals and enjoying the sun. I’d turned down a man earlier who had come down to meet me after having cam sex a few times over the years. Never saw him again.
We ended up losing the friend I was staying with, we walked and talked and had a laugh. Then back to the dorms with our other friends. We cooked some sausages and our other friends (a couple) went back to their room.
I started suggesting that if I couldn’t get in contact with my friend I could stay with him. He seemed quite keen on the idea but I assured him it was just platonic and wouldn’t be taking advantage. And honestly, I meant it. Yeah there was perhaps a hope it would happen but I was keen that if it did it was his choice, especially knowing he could be gay.
We got into bed and I snuggled into my side and said goodnight.
He then lay beside me and told me he had no condoms but he could mess around if I wanted.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We kissed, he reached in between my legs and touched me, I start to respond by touching his dick, it’s already quite hard and feels impressive. I gave him a blowjob. He had the biggest dick I’d ever seen and it felt really good in my mouth. He seemed quite into it and fingered me well. I can’t remember if he went down on me, don’t think he did.
Then it escalated and whilst I was on top of him, he slid inside me and I started to ride him. It was a very filling sensation but I wanted to again see if he was into it, so we swung around and he absolutely pounded me. I think we might have done doggy as well, it felt great and I really enjoyed it.
He came inside me suddenly, and I think I rolled over and got myself off. He probably helped a bit. Then we got cleaned off and slept.
In the morning I noticed he got up and walked to his desk still sporting a large erection. He was a bit distant but I thanked him for the place to stay and said I’d see him later.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? But afterwards he completely ghosted me. Disappeared for the duration of my stay and cut all ties with me. For whatever reason he chose to do that I don’t know, it did become a bit of a running joke but that was after he exited my life. I have no issue with him or the hook up in general, we both consented and had fun. I see no issue with that. He did come out as gay some years later so I wonder if that had an impact at the time.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None, Withdrawal
What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Learning new things, experimenting, Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, To feel more desirable, To cheer myself up, Submission / Relinquishing power, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? A little tipsy/high
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? A little bit
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Our mutual friends put two and two together. I tried to hide it but I got a bit annoyed with the fact he just disappeared and took very little coaxing the following evening. They knew though. They thought it was pretty funny and that he was probably gay. Funny that I have slept with a few bisexual men also
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? His big dick and having him ride me. It was a lot of fun when he came onto me as I didn’t expect him to.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? The emotional disturbance over the loss of someone I considered a friend.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really, if anything it made me more curious to try out casual sex. It made me feel more confident and desirable again after a negative relationship. Sexuality-wise it was probably a hint I should accept there was a reason I was thought of attractive by a few gay/bi man and have a kind of wider spectrum of those I attract and am attracted to.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I think people can be as open sexually as they want. I love sex and I love connecting with people and letting ourselves be a bit more primal. It’s fun. However it’s very personal and there are risks, so I think it shouldn’t be stigmatized but also not promoted.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Really interesting idea, why humans have sex is so complicated and interesting.
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