My Ex’s Best Friend



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 23
What’s your race/ethnicity? East Asian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? USA, Redlands, CA
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Buddhist
How religious are you? A little
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 4
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

My ex’s best friend

How long ago did this hookup happen? 3 months ago

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He’s Lebanese. I’ve only hooked up with Asian guys, but I gave a white guy a bj. So hooking up with him was different. He’s also my ex’s housemate and good friend. I guess I always thought he was really hot even while I was dating my ex, but I never did anything about it because at the time, I really loved my bf.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? My ex had a going away party that I was invited to. He got seriously fucked up on every drug possible and told me that he wanted to “end the night” with me. I wasn’t about to fuck my ex…again. But then the hookup and I hung out a lot that night, smoked and drank a little too much, and ended up in bed with each other.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I gave him a bj, and we actually fucked (vaginal) and used a condom of course. His dick was MUCH bigger than my ex’s, but he didn’t know how to use it well. It was honestly a little disappointing because I didn’t orgasm. I had to fake it because he said he wouldn’t come until I did…

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? A little

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? The morning after, I woke up in his arms, which was nice. Suddenly, my ex came in the room asking where the bong was. We made eye contact and he said, “Are you fuckin kidding me?” Hahaha. But honestly, even though the sex was shitty, I don’t regret it. At least I got it out of my system.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Condoms

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Attraction to partner(s), Intoxication, To feel more desirable, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol, Marijuana, hashish, Cocaine

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? It was just mutual that we both wanted it

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Best friend who almost whacked me in the head, saying it was a bad idea, but at the same time good job because he’s cute.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Mixed (Some positive, some negative)

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure

Do you regret this hookup? Not at all

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Big dick.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Felt a little guilty that he’s my ex’s friend and housemate.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Not really. I’ve always had the same idea.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Somewhat positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Somewhat negative

What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Casual sex is just a way for me to relieve sexual needs. I want to focus on school and my career so I don’t want a serious relationship.

What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s an interesting way to learn about other’s sexual experiences of such varying ages.

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!