What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 26
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? North America
What country and/or city do you live in? NYC
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Production
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Christian
How religious are you? Somewhat
What’s your sexual orientation? Heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 6
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 0
How long ago did this hookup happen? 1.5 years
What was your relationship status at the time? Same as current status
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? Just met that day
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I was attracted to him almost instantly. He was tall, dark and handsome; just my type. I was very intoxicated, actually, looking back on it, I was too intoxicated. As was he. So I don’t remember much of the evening, only that there was a lot of flirting and witty banter.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? When I met him I had no intention whatsoever of having sex that night. In fact, at age 25, I had never had a one night stand and only had sex one time before that night so I wasn’t looking at him in that way. It was a hot summer day and I had been sweating on the beach all day and smelled like the ocean. Not how you want to present yourself to a partner. I instigated it and blame it on the alcohol and the repressed sexual feelings I had collected over the years. We somehow ended up on a balcony of an apartment building, a balcony surrounded by roof tops with people on them. I only remember sitting on his lap while making out, then suddenly I was having sex with him. Six months later, I remembered him trying to stop me and telling me he wanted to take me out.
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? Like I said, I was extremely drunk and don’t remember too many specifics. I do remember that it was passionate and that it felt amazing. We had vaginal and oral sex. The sex was perfect, liberating, just what I needed. Needless to say, he was a great lover. We ended on the balcony and went inside where a few people were still hanging out. I went to the bathroom and he was talking to another girl, I said bye and left thinking that was it. And I was fine with it. But as I waited for my taxi he followed me and came back to my apartment. We had sex again that night, and then woke up in the morning and had sex again. We made some awkward small talk and he left.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, multiple
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? After he left I texted him once to see if he wanted to go out, but after a three-day text delay and the excuse of a broken phone, it was clear we weren’t going to have any type of future. I felt pretty bad about myself that day since so far, my first two experiences having sex were bummers. I haven’t talked to this person since and it’s been quite awhile, but I still remember him as the best sex I ever had. I also thought he was a pretty cool person and we had a few things in common, so I wouldn’t mind befriending him if we ever come in contact in the future.
What were your motives for this hookup? Intoxication, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it
How intoxicated were you? Completely wasted
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? I don’t know
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Not at all
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? I’m not sure / I don’t know
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Friends and room mates, they were shocked since it’s 100% out of character for me.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? I don’t know / I’m not sure
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? I let go and gave in. Looking back it was something that I needed to do.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? Feeling negative about myself after.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Yes.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? I grew up in a strong Christian household and casual sex was greatly looked down upon. I was taught no sex till marriage, so naturally, I saw it in a negative light. Growing up, I was taught to fear sex and after being sexually abused as a child, sex and intimacy was, and still is scary for me. This experience changed me though and although I don’t have casual sex anymore, it was something I needed to experience.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? It’s great, and made me feel less alone! Awareness for anything sex related is a yes for me!
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