First Hookup Since Ex



What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 19
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? England
Highest education received: Some college (currently in college)
What’s your occupation? Student
What’s your current relationship status? Single
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 3
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None

First Hookup Since Ex

How long ago did this hookup happen? Last night

What was your relationship status at the time? Single

How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand

How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years

Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? I knew this guy (let’s say Sam) since sixth form, he was kind of my mate, but better friends with my ex-boyfriend. We would occasionally talk at school and if I saw him on a night out we’d hug and say hi and whatever. I knew his ex-girlfriend too, and we would have drunken conversations on nights out sometimes. He’s in the year below though so I’ve never been around him that much. One time we were talking at school and I noticed that he has really nice, green eyes but I find a lot of people attractive so that wasn’t really anything.

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I was on a night out with my female friend, who has a boyfriend, and we bumped into Sam in a club and chilled together and then he invited us back to his house for a few drinks. We went to his and started drinking more, we were all getting on really well but I wasn’t particularly being flirty. Just chilling I guess. My friend got tired so we put her to bed in the basement and then Sam asked if I wanted to stay in his bed. It seemed completely casual like I wasn’t that bothered either way and I knew something was probably going to happen.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? We got into bed and I was like ‘do you wanna just fuck like I’m chill with that’ and we started kissing and I took my jeans off and his top off and he started going down on me. This was the first sexual experience I had since my ex-boyfriend, so I was keen to just move on and get a notch on my belt. I’ve also been super horny for a while now. My ex-boyfriend was amazing at oral sex and Sam was okay but I just wanted to fuck, to be honest. So then we started having sex and he was pretty big and wanted me to ride him lots, something I wasn’t that used to because I’m used to having quite average sex. I got him to fuck me from behind and it was really good and I got super loud. He strangled me and put his finger in my asshole. There was some dirty talk and it was pretty rough, which I enjoyed. I kind of let him take control because he’s a fuckboy and I’m not that experienced. When he was finished, we just hugged for a bit and then he got horny again, touching my ass but I was too tired for anymore and couldn’t really be bothered for another round…I guess I am a little boring in the bedroom.

How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Somewhat

Did you have an orgasm? No, but I was close

Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? We laughed because neither of us ever expected to fuck each other. I explained that I don’t want anything from him and I’m cool with it just being sex. I left with my friend in the morning and she found it funny. I felt pretty hungover the day after, and I just felt a bit strange. I didn’t regret it and I was pretty proud of myself because he is hot but I’m so not used to casual sex and I felt a bit self-conscious. I feel fine about him now. I live in a different city to him so I will rarely see him, and if I do I think it will just be funny. He’s a nice guy and I’m lucky because I don’t have any feelings for him so I know I won’t get fucked over. I just hope my ex doesn’t find out because he would be a bit upset I think.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) Withdrawal

What were your motives for this hookup? Fun, pleasure, horniness, Learning new things, experimenting, Thought it was an important experience to have, Intoxication, To feel better about myself, Just happened, I don’t know why, just went along with it, It was easy / convenient

How intoxicated were you? Drunk/high but not wasted

What substances did you consume? Alcohol

How intoxicated was your partner? A little tipsy/high

What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol

How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat

Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent

How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat

Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? I’ve told most of my friends and they are all happy for me. I hadn’t had sex for 6 months and I was definitely getting restless, which they knew. They also just thought it was funny and unexpected.

How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Relatively positive

Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? A little bit

Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all

Do you regret this hookup? A little bit

Why do you regret this hookup? I don’t really regret it, I just feel a bit insecure like what if I was bad in bed? And i feel like I should feel shameful because of the stigma surrounding one night stands. I regret not using a condom too. It was good because it felt way better but what if he had an STD? I know that he doesn’t and I took the morning after pill, but moving forward, I should be more aware of that.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? Probably how chill it was. We were both on the same page and no one got hurt in the process. And it was eye-opening for sure.

What was the WORST thing about this hookup? My own insecurities. And the fact I wasn’t as experienced so I feel like I could have done better.

Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? It’s helped a lot. I feel better about my ex. And I feel more confident in hooking up with someone when I go back to uni. I want to hook up with people more, it’s just a case of becoming more confident and experienced.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Fairly positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? A little negative

You have a hookup story to share? Submit it here!