First Time – Second Time Around

by Mara

Gender: Female
Age: 30
Race/ethnicity: Caucasian
Current location: Germany
Highest education received: Post-graduate degree (eg., MA, MS, PhD, JD, MD)
Occupation: Lawyer
Relationship status: Long-term relationship
Religious affiliation: Catholic
How religious are you? Not at all
Sexual orientation: Heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexual orientation/sexuality better/best? Still finding out what I like
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? 5
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? 2

First Time – Second Time Around

How long ago did this hookup happen? 11 years

How would you best classify this hookup (e.g., one-night stand, fuck-buddies, friends-with-benefits, booty call, sex with an ex, short fling; paid sex…)? One-night stand
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? He (N) was Honduran, no taller than me, black curly short hair, very dark eyes with long lashes, pronounced cheek bones, dark skin, fit body, about 20 years… just the picture perfect Latin Lover. We were both partaking in a volunteer exchange program for young people after school. He had come from Honduras to Germany and stayed for one year, doing voluntary work. I had just finished high school and turned 19 and was about to go to New Zealand to do the same. The organization held a long weekend meeting for all the “outgoings” and “incomings” at a secluded youth hostel in order to prepare the exchangees for their experiences/evaluate the past year.

We were a group of about 40. Immediately, he was the centre of all the female attention. He was hot and flirty and exotic and seemed experienced and forward and thus nothing like German boys. Every girl wanted him, including me.
He was constantly surrounded by a cloud of giggling flirting touchy girls.

One year ago, I had lost my virginity in London (or so I thought – see my other story) and had not had sex since. I was young, horny and ready to do it – especially with this dreamy hot stranger!

How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? I am okay looking with a nice body, I reckon, but not drop dead georgeous; plus back then I was still quite insecure. So I quickly deduced that I could not get him by joining and competing with theses other girls that battled for his attention. Instead, I very deliberately played not interested and hard to get. I did not talk to or smile at him, did not flock around him, ignored his pull and acted like I was not only not interested but actually a bit annoyed with him. However I made sure to be in his vicinity. For example, when he would lean against the cupboards in the kitchen, talking to a few girls, I would push him aside to take out a pan or something, not smiling, not acknowledging my attraction. Or I would sit close to him during meals, but not engage in conversation with him at all, but with everyone around.

Incredibly, this worked better than I imagined it would. After the first day, he started trying to make contact, talking to me, waving in passing etc. I still did not react. This only made him more eager. On the third and last day, he really tried to flirt with me. We had the evening off for a little party, so he bought wine for me and organized music. He was not the only Latin guy, so the whole evening qickly turned into a latin dance class for us white girls. The guys taught us Bachata, a very sensual and sexy dance. They even made us dance the really raunchy version where leading is not done with the hands but the hips, the legs interlocked, croches grinding aganst each other. I danced with every guy but refused to dance with him. So he had to come up with a trick: His best friend asked me to dance, which I happily did. In the middle of the song, the friend feigned a cramp in his leg; being a gentleman, he of course offered me a substitute dancer which happened to be M. I thougth this was so cute that I finally gave in and danced with him. It was so sexy, we were grinding on each other, looking into each others eyes, breathing heavily, bodies turning and rolling, hands everywhere – of course, it was all dance moves, but it felt like forplay in front of everyone on the dance floor. The fact that all the other girls were lined up around us on the walls, eyeing me with envy and incomprehension (“How did SHE get to get him??”) made it only better.

After a while, the party kinda dissolved. He pretended to have a hurting leg so that he could lean on me, having his arm around me and me my arm around him. Like this, we “hobbled” to his room. We checked if it was empty – I think he threw out the other guy in there, but I cannot remember clearly.

By the way, we talked in Spanish as my Spanish (learned in school) was much better than his German.

What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I was very nervous. After all, this was only my second time having sex at all, and the first time didn’t go so well (as you can read in my other story). But he was sure of himself and his moves. He took off my clothes. I remember lying on the bed on my back when he pulled down my pants. We were in the bottom part of a bunk bed (youth hostel!). I hitched my knees up to help him and kinda knocked my knees under his chin like an uppercut in boxing, which made us laugh. I liked that; I think if you can laugh together during sex it is a good sign, it makes for a good athmosphere. We touched and kissed, but I did not go down on him, neither did he on me. His body was chiselled and very hot.

He entered me in missionary and it suddenly hurt a lot, a cutting pain. I was so surprised and inexperienced that I didn’t say anything. After a few minutes it got better, and then it started to feel nice. This is when I realized that I had just lost my virginity. And that the year before, in London, I actually had NOT been deflowered properly. This was a pretty big surprise and revelation; after all, I had walked around for a year, convinced that I was not a virgin anymore. I thought this was quite funny and surprising and I remember thinking to myself what an odd night this was – having my first time without really knowing it.

He fucked me for a while in missionary, but we slid up the bed until I banged my head against the headrest with every thrust, which was uncomfortable. So he turned me around and entered me from behind. I remember thinking that for my first time, I was getting quite the experience.

He was demanding and knew exactly what he wanted. I was inexperienced and as it was my first time, didn’t really know what to do or how to enjoy it properly, but I had a good time and I think as far as first times go, it was a good one. I just let him do to me what he wanted and it was okay. I guess he must have been way more experienced than me.

I think he came and then we lay next to each other on our backs, his arms around me.

Did you have an orgasm? Did your partner(s)? I did not. I think he did.

What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? Did you discuss STI history? We used a condom, but did not talk about STIs.

What were your REASONS for having this hookup? I wanted to have sex. I wanted more sexual experience; after all, it is something that gets better with practice. The opportunity was perfect – away from home, in a youth hostel, with lots of other teenagers, and the knowledge that it would be a one-time thing. I was too insecure for more; I wanted to try myself out in a casual way no-one at home knew about.

Were alcohol or drugs involved? If so, how much? We both had drunk wine and were tipsy.

What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it? What are your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now: We lay in bed and I was happy that – once more – everything had gone down exactly as I had planned and wanted it. I felt empowered and a bit smug to have beaten all the other girls to it (to him, to be precice). I was also happy to have finally lost my virginity for real this time. I felt amused thinking back to the other guy in London and the whole funny situation.
He put my head on his chest and said (in Spanish): “Feel my heartbeat race; this is what you did to me “, winking, hinting that I had worn him out, which was a compliment I didn’t deserve as I hadn’t really done anything.
Outside, it got light as it was already around 5 am. After a while I said: “Era mi primera vez”. I tought he should know. He was very surprised. I got the feeling that he didn’t really know what to do with this information; that he would have acted differently if he had known beforehand. He seemed surprised that I was so content with the whole situation.
I then told him I should go back to my room; we would have to get up to pack and leave in about 2 hours. I put on my clothes, we kissed and hugged and I left.

I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth; this is when I saw some blood in my pants (I had not put on my underwear in order to leave quicker). Proof of my cherry being popped. I met a girl in the bathroom with whom I had gotten friendly (she was going to NZ as well) and who apparently had made out with his friend on the stairwell until then. We both kinda felt giddy and like daredevils, having had our ways with the hot Latinos and still being up with the sun coming up outside, completely tired out and yet jittery from the adrenalin.

The next morning, we saw each other in the hubbub of everyone packing and hauling bags to the busses etc. He took me aside and gave me back one sock that I had left in his room (what a clichee!) and we took a picture together. On it, we both look happy, embarrassed and tired. I have never seen or heard from him again, as planned. I remember him fondly.

And I cannot listen to “Suavemente” without thinking about that night and him!

To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? Some girls in the program knew from that night. Later, I told some friends back home, and they approved.

Was this a consensual and/or wanted experience for you? For your partner? We both wanted it.

Do you regret this hookup? If so, why? I don’t regret it at all. I wouldn’t change one bit. I think not knowing that it was my first time made it better than had I known.

What was the BEST thing about this hookup? How about the WORST? Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Tha best thing was that I got to have sex with this incredibly hot Latino. And that I was able to get him over all the other girls (real kick for my ego). And that he made me have a reasonably good first time.
It made me realize that I have control, that I can steer things my way. It made me more confident and thus open for a longer relationship.

All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive

All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative

Anything else you want to add about this hookup or anything else? I really think that first times are way overrated. If I had known that before, I probably would not have waited so long for the “perfect opportunity”, but tried to experience more in order to get to the point where you know what you like better and thus can really enjoy sex .

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