What’s your gender? Woman
How old are you? 41
What’s your race/ethnicity? White / Caucasian
What continent do you live on? Europe
What country and/or city do you live in? Sussex, England
Highest education received: College degree (eg., BA, BS)
What’s your occupation? Theatre Manager
What’s your current relationship status? In a serious relationship (monogamous)
Religious affiliation: Atheist
How religious are you? Not at all
What’s your sexual orientation? Mostly heterosexual
Any other term(s) that describe your sexuality or sexual identity? I like funny, masculine guys and am a bit of a size queen (I like a larger penis!)
How many sexual partners have you had in your life (including oral sex)? More than 10 and less than 20.
How many hookup stories have you here posted before? None
Frantic Sex At The Theatre
How long ago did this hookup happen? Five years
What was your relationship status at the time? Single
How would you best classify this hookup? One-night stand
How long did you know the person before this hookup? For 1 to 3 years
Tell us about your PARTNER(S). What did they look like? How well did you know them, had you hooked up before? How/Where did you meet them? How did you feel about them before the hookup? Paul was a senior manager at the theatre in which I worked. At the time, I did a lot of the day-to-day running of the theatre. He wasn’t my immediate boss, but he was senior to me. He was in his mid-forties, tall, rather good-looking (you could tell he went to the gym), but he also used to make me laugh and was very friendly. The theatre environment, especially during a long run of a play, is a tense place to work. There are a lot of egos involved. Paul was easy to work with, and I was attracted to him very quickly after meeting him.
How/where did the hookup BEGIN? What led to it? Was planning involved? Who instigated it? Paul was married (I never met his wife) and I was single. I was going through a long spell of not doing much except working. I hadn’t had sex for over six months. Paul and I didn’t have an especially flirtatious relationship, but however frantic and busy the theatre became, he always had time for a chat and a laugh.
I’d known him for two years before this happened. One evening the night before a new play opened, we were working late together – and were the last ones there. We’d had a beer each and started talking – really talking. I hadn’t opened up about my life to anyone for a long time. He talked about his wife (his relationship wasn’t great) and I talked about my last boyfriend. Basically, we just connected. The beer helped, but I could tell there was something else there.
We actually went to the walk-in costume cupboard for a legitimate reason. One of the female leads needed a dress left out for the seamstress. I still don’t know quite how it happened, but it was like someone flicked a switch and we just went for each other. Paul had his tongue down my throat and I had mine down his. We spent about 10 minutes just sucking each other’s faces until I realized, I had my hands on his thighs and he had his on mine. I remember thinking, ‘Shit! Are we really doing this?’ And then, ‘Oh my God I think I’m going to have sex with Paul!’
What happened DURING the hookup? What sexual behaviors took place (e.g., oral, vaginal, anal, kinky stuff)? How did you feel during it? How did they behave toward you? Were they a good lover? What did you talk about? How did it end? I have long dark hair and I’m told I’m pretty. I also have big boobs, which guys like, but I also have a big bum and my thighs are bigger than I’d like. I say this to explain that I am self-conscious about my body, especially with a new lover. But for some reason, I did not care about this with Paul. He made me feel that wanted.
I was wearing a cotton dress as it was summer. He took the front down and took my breasts out first and just started kissing and sucking my nipples. I remember undoing his trousers and then feeling his hands going up the skirt and pulling my knickers down. I could not remember the last time a man took my knickers off. I always undressed myself! I wondered why I didn’t let guys do it all the time. I actually felt myself open up – if that makes sense – my pussy felt like liquid. I hadn’t shaved my bush for a while and I was aware of the hair actually becoming wet.
We slid down the wall and ended up on our knees in front of each other, and we laughed, as we had half our clothes on and half off. We both stripped off completely – which felt weird and exciting. I knew Paul was in good shape, but I recall feeling my belly flip over about three times when I first saw his penis. He was fully erect and it was bloody huge! It reminded me of those big cocks you see on Greek statues of satyrs, half-man, half-beasts. It was beautiful and raw and masculine. I’d never felt quite like that about a man’s penis before.
I went down on him and he grabbed a hank of my hair while I sucked. I didn’t think I could get the thing in my mouth properly. He was uncircumcised and his foreskin was like a massive collar around this equally massive head. I’d had sex with larger guys in the past, but not like this. When Paul slipped his hands between my legs, I actually worried I’d wet myself. I hadn’t, but it almost felt like I did.
We had sex lying on the floor and standing up. He was strong enough to pick me up – no mean feat with my bottom and thighs! – and he did me against the wall. I came while he was doing it, which had never happened before with a guy in this position. That really threw me off, I was out of breath and aware that my face and boobs were flushed. So we had to stop. The pair of us were giggling and staring at each other as if to say, ‘Is this happening?’
Paul took me from behind. I leaned over and planted my hands on the wall. He was taller than me, and I remember placing the soles of my bare feet on top of his bare feet. It felt really intimate! I never had doggy-style sex with a guy until I’d known them for a while. I worried about my big bum again, but that didn’t seem to count with Paul. To put it bluntly, he fucked the arse off me. His penis was so big, but I was wet enough to take the whole thing – and I had half an orgasm again, a little one.
I remember thinking, ‘Fuck, he’s not using a condom!’ I’m a bit ashamed to say I didn’t care. He warned me beforehand and made a motion to pull out, but I didn’t want him to and held him in place. I remember feeling this ‘thing’ pulsing inside me as he came. I’d already decided to get the morning-after pill. I didn’t care. We cleaned up as best we could, but Paul’s semen was still running down my legs in the cab home later.
How sexually satisfying was this hookup? Very
Did you have an orgasm? Yes, more than one
Did your partner have an orgasm? Yes, one
What happened AFTER the hookup? How did you feel about it the next day? What are/were your expectations/hopes for the future with this person? How do you feel about them now? I thought it would be awful the next day, but it wasn’t. We had a play to concentrate on and there was no time to be awkward or weird with each other. I also felt a bit crap from taking the emergency pill. I was single as well and decided to put it down as a one-off sexual experience.
If I’m honest I think Paul was worried his wife would find out. She never did as far as I know. I took a new job a few months later and Paul left the theatre as well. We never hooked up again, but I did see him at a wrap party last year and we had a chat. I think we were both mentally replaying that night as we talked. I remember going home and thinking about his huge prick and that massive foreskin! I think I masturbated after my boyfriend fell asleep.
What precautions did you take to prevent STIs and pregnancy? (Check all that apply) None
What were your motives for this hookup? Attraction to partner(s), Emotional intimacy, closeness, connection, To feel more desirable
How intoxicated were you? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did you consume? Alcohol
How intoxicated was your partner? Small amount of alcohol or drugs, not enough to feel it
What substances did your partner(s) consume? Alcohol
How wanted was this hookup for you at the time? Somewhat
Did you consent to this hookup at the time? I gave enthusiastic consent
How wanted was this hookup for your partner at the time? Somewhat
Did your partner(s) consent to this hookup? They gave enthusiastic consent
To whom did you talk about the hookup? How did they react? My friend Trisha. She was shocked.
How would you best summarize people’s reactions about this hookup? Neutral
Did you get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Did your partner get emotionally hurt as a result of this hookup? Not at all
Do you regret this hookup? Not at all
What was the BEST thing about this hookup? If I’m honest and I know it makes me sound shallow, it was Paul’s penis. Its size turned me on.
What was the WORST thing about this hookup? That there wasn’t an Act Two. I was single and I’d have liked to have had sex with Paul again.
Has this hookup changed the way you think about casual sex, sexuality, or yourself in general? Maybe a little. I was surprised by how slutty and ready for sex I could feel with someone that wasn’t a partner.
All things considered, how POSITIVE was this experience? Very positive
All things considered, how NEGATIVE was this experience? Not at all negative
Anything else you want to add about this hookup? I’m glad it happened.
What are your thoughts on casual sex more generally, the role it has played in your life, and/or its role in society? What would you like to see changed in that regard? Everyone should be more accepting of casual sex.
What do you think about the Casual Sex Project? Interesting and fun.
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